


Grief's Reunion

by giftheck



Series: Reconciliation [1]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Issues, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Relationship(s), Other, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Issues, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giftheck/pseuds/giftheck
Summary: It has been fifteen years since Nick left Zootopia and he's never looked back, but he is forced to confront his past when news reaches him that his mother is dying. How will he react when he learns of the son he thought was never going to be born? And can he mend his relationship with Judy?





	1. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the very talented Ziegelzeig for doing the splendid cover artwork for me!

**GRIEF'S REUNION **

**A ZOOTOPIA: RECONCILIATION STORY**

** Trust **

(From the point of view of Nick)

_I’m sitting on a plane. First class, of course. My son is sat, sleeping, in the seat right next to me. I love the little tyke, the last reminder of a mate who died last year. It wasn’t fair how Anabel Skye was taken. She had been a Federal Agent for a number of years, so danger had been part of her life for a long time. I met her thirteen years ago, and as it turns out, she had not long left ZCIS (the Zootopia Criminal Investigation Service – not related to NCIS or CGIS) after her partner was killed in action. She didn’t like to talk much about him, but I knew his name was Jack Savage, and I knew that he was a jackrabbit. I suspect there was something between them, from the way she often spoke of him, but I never knew if they were an item. It didn’t feel right asking, even after me and Anabel were mated. And we had our wonderful son, Robin Skye. He’s eleven now, yet he doesn’t know the hardships of his species like I did growing up._

_It wasn’t in the line of duty that Anabel was taken. You don’t expect to die doing something as mundane as crossing the road. But there it is: an old ram ran the red light at a crossing and hit her. It’s small consolation that she died quickly, but she shouldn’t have died at all. There were no dying words. I didn’t cradle her failing body in my arms as I wept uncontrollably. I wasn’t even there to see it. Thankfully, neither was Robin, who was a home, being taught by his home tutor at the time. And understandably, we were both devastated. I loved Anabel._

_I guess it just goes to show that the things I love are often cruelly taken away from me._

_Which brings me back to why I’m on a plane, headed back into territory I swore I would never look back on, after what happened fifteen years ago._

_Because there is another hurt, another example of something being taken from me, without my knowledge. Or it would have been. Normally I wouldn’t thank Ben for gossip-spreading, but on this one occasion, I needed to hear what he had to say._

She _didn’t want me to know. Of course she didn’t. The way she acted made it seem like she was suggesting it was all about her career. To be honest, I wasn’t as upset about the fact that she did it as I was about the fact she went behind my back. I never thought she would be that dishonest. I could have coped if we had talked it out first. I’m sure our relationship would have survived. But I prided myself in turning away from my old, dishonest ways, and she seemed to have taken those ways to heart._

_Fifteen years ago, I said goodbye to Zootopia. I never set foot there again, though when I went out to Mexicat, it was only so I could get my head together before making a decision on where to go next. The only people who knew I was going were the only real friend I ever had, a small fennec that was my running buddy for years. Fred Fennecson, alias Finnick. The other is my mother. Viola Wilde._

_And it is my mother who brings me back to Zootopia, the city of loss._

_Yesterday, I received a phone call from Finnick. My mother is dying. Brain Cancer, incurable. She’s known for a year, but she held out hope that treatment might cure her. She never told me about it, and I confess that I’m angry at Finnick for keeping it from me for so long. But she’s decided to stop the treatment, and Finnick called me to tell me that the doctors have given her no more than three weeks._

_I love my mother, even if I haven’t been a particularly good son. Had I known sooner, I would have paid for specialist treatment. Whatever the cost._

_As it is, because I didn’t know, all I can do now is break the promise never to return, just so I can say a proper goodbye to her._

_Even if it risks putting me face-to-face with_ her.

_I’m ready._

_I hope._

******

Nick sighed as he looked out of the window of the plane. The sun had started to rise. They were nearly at the end of their flight. Robin sat fast asleep in the seat next to him. Nick let him sleep: the poor kid needed it. He was about to get two experiences in one day: a new city he had never seen before, and the first time he had ever met his grandmother.

“ _Ladies and gentlemammals, this is the Captain speaking._ ” Came a voice over the in-flight speakers, “ _We are starting our descent into Zootopia now. We will draw to a stop within the next fifteen minutes._ ”

Nick looked out of the window. Sure enough, the unchanged skyscrapers in the middle of Zootopia were coming into view, the rising sun glinting off the polished glass.

“Son.” Nick turned to Robin and gently shook him. The young fox woke up.

“We there yet, Dad?” the fox yawned.

“Nearly.” Nick gestured to the window. Robin leaned across to look out.

“I grew up here.” Nick said, a small smile gracing his face. Despite the hurt that had happened here, he still had happy memories.

“ _We’re starting our final approach._ ” The Captain said. The plane started to descend towards the Zootopia City Airport, situated to the north of the Rainforest District, which also sat to the north of the city. Looking down, Nick and Robin could see the huge treetops, and the rain machines that poured rain into the District. The plane even caught some rain as it dipped briefly into a parting in the trees as it made its descent.

As promised, the plane landed and taxied on the runway towards the terminal.

“ _We have arrived at Zootopia City Airport. Thank you for travelling Zootopia Airlines. Please remember to take your luggage with you when you leave the plane._ ”

“Come on, Son.” Nick said. Robin nodded as he got out of his seat. Within moments, the door to the terminal tunnel opened and Nick and Robin stepped out into it – their first steps into Zootopia together – and made their way down the tunnel and into the terminal check-in.

“Passports, please.” The clerk at the check-in asked. Nick pulled two passports out from his pocket and handed them to the clerk, who opened them up.

The first he read belonged to Robin. It read:

 

_Robin Skye_

_D.O.B.: 06/26/2023_

_Species: Vulpes Vulpes_

_Eye Colour: Blue_

_Fur Colour: Red_

_Distinguishing marks: none_

_Nationality: Mexicatian_

 

The clerk checked the picture, then scanned it through. Then he got to Nick’s passport and checked it:

 

_Nicholas Johnathan Hood_

_D.O.B.: 01/14/1984_

_Species: Vulpes Vulpes_

_Eye Colour: Green_

_Fur Colour: Red (natural), Black (dyed)_

_Distinguishing Marks: none_

_Nationality: Zootopian, Mexicatian_

 

The clerk scanned the passport

“What’s the reason for your visit to Zootopia?” the clerk asked.

“Family business.” Nick replied, a little more tersely than he intended.

“Family business.” The clerk repeated as he entered the information, before handing back the passports and waving Nick and Robin along.

******

_Oh, did I forget to mention? I’m not Nicholas Piberius Wilde. Nick Wilde died fifteen years ago, after I moved out to Mexicat. Or, to be more accurate, I changed my name to Nicholas Johnathan Hood after I moved out. Nick Wilde died three weeks before that, when a stake was driven through my heart by somebody I loved, but as it turns out didn’t love me as much back. If she did, she wouldn’t have lied. Wouldn’t have gone behind my back. And I wouldn’t have heard about it from Ben._

_Perhaps it would be better if I started from the beginning._

_Everybody knows the tale. Hero fox and bunny saves Zootopia from the menace of the savage mammals by exposing the corrupt mayor. Bunny convinces fox he can be more, so fox goes and becomes her partner on the Police Force, after years spent fumbling in the darkness living to the stereotype. And I was good at it. Oh, sure, we teased each other, and made each other laugh, and sometimes cry._

_And we fell in love. Only my love was clearly stronger than hers._

_Because why else would Judy Hopps go behind my back to terminate our unborn child? Had it not been for Benjamin Clawhauser, resident gossip and ZPD’s receptionist, I might never have found out. I confronted her about it a few days later, the date that I found out was the date she had scheduled for the termination. I only found the date out because I opened her mail, something I never did. But hearing what I had heard drove me to desperation._

_She gave me no good reason beyond doing it for her career. I get that she worked all her life for this. And I really do understand that I said some pretty mean and hurtful things, out of the hurt that she was causing me. The truth is that while I did want a child, and I didn’t know if such a miracle would ever befall us again, I would have respected Judy’s decision for a termination, to wait until we were a bit more secure in our relationships and our jobs. Heck, I agreed with the part that the conditions weren’t ideal. But she never came to me. She never talked to me about it. We never even discussed kits, because we thought it just wasn’t possible between a bunny and a fox. And perhaps that lack of communication is on me too, but she should have confided in me. I might have been against it, but I would have supported her decision had she not gone about it in a completely underhanded, sneaky, sly way. And I told her that much, out of anger._

_She hit me._

_I’m not talking a slap here. She threw a punch. And it became clear then just what she thought of me._

_She never believed in me. It was all a sham._

_I packed my bags and left. Slept in Finnick’s van for three weeks while I worked out my notice at the ZPD. During that time, Judy tried to contact me, but in my anger I refused to even hear her out. As far as I was concerned, nothing Judy said was worth hearing on account of it being a further kick in the teeth. Or a punch. Whatever._

_Once I worked my notice out at the ZPD (which Bogo kept quiet at my request), I gathered my savings and headed straight for the airport. Of course, I said goodbye to my mother and Finnick. I honestly did not know where I was going to go, or how long I was going to be gone for, but I chose Mexicat City randomly off the board, got on the flight and never looked back._

_Until today._

_As for the black fur? The name change? I could say that it makes me harder to trace, but it’s more of a ‘new me’ thing. Nicholas Piberius Wilde vanished that day. Though given I’m CEO of Hood Enterprises, a successful small company in the business of setting up attractions and entertainment, I’m not_ that _hard to find. Judy’s just never bothered. Maybe she just gave up. Not that I care anymore. My heart had room for her until she did what she did. It caused me to distrust everybody for a long time, until Anabel came along. Between her and Robin, they’ve reopened my heart._

 

******

Nick sighed as he stepped outside the airport and hailed a cab.

“Dad?” Robin said, looking at Nick with concern. Nick looked down at him and forced a smile.

“I’m fine, Son.” Nick replied.

A taxi pulled up and Nick opened the door, letting Robin in first. The driver popped the boot and Nick put their small amount of luggage into it. Closing the boot, Nick took one last glance around the terminal before getting into the taxi.

“Where to?” the horse driver asked.

“1955 Cypress Grove Lane, Rainforest District.” Nick replied.


	2. Chief Concern

** Chief Concern **

(From the point of view of Judy)

_You know what I like about this job?_

_Absolutely nothing._

_I’m a forty-two-year-old singleton with the highest position in the ZPD. Years ago, all I wanted to do was make a difference. Change things. Make the world a better place. I was always better on the streets than I was stuck behind a desk._

_Yet, here I am. Chief of the Precinct that eighteen years ago I started at as a lowly Officer constantly put-down by her superiors._

_It’s all meaningless now._

_Okay, that’s not exactly fair. Nor is it right. But I’ve spent a long time dwelling on the mistakes of the past._

_In the wake of Nick leaving, I did everything I could to try and find him so I could explain things to him. I’m not proud of the way I handled things. He was right: I should have discussed things with him. But what he said to me that day went too far. I felt something break between us, something fundamental. I so desperately wanted to fix it, to make things right. It wouldn’t be the first time Nick has walked away from me and I’ve not been able to find him, but this time he disappeared completely. His mother refused to tell me where he was going, and so did Nick’s friend, Finnick._

_Because I was too distraught to go through with it on the day Nick and I had our argument, I had to rearrange the termination for another day. I couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t eating properly. That alone should have probably killed the child growing in me. _But I decided to go through with another termination attempt anyway.__

_And the unthinkable happened._

******

A knock came at the door.

“Enter.” Judy looked up from her desk, taking her glasses off. The door opened and the figure of Stan Fangmeyer stepped inside. The tiger usually carried an amused air about him, but he was not amused this time. Beside him was…

It was difficult to describe the creature. Light brown fur. Lavender eyes very much like Judy’s own. Shorter ears than her, with pointed tips. Longer snout. Lankier frame than hers. He wore jeans and a t-shirt, a jacket hanging over him.

And the expression on the face of the creature was one who was angry at being caught.

Again.

“Thank you, Officer Fangmeyer.” Judy sighed, “Could you leave us alone for a minute?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Fangmeyer stepped outside the room, shutting the door behind him. Judy got off her chair and approached the figure, though she did have to look up to him a little. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

“Well?” Judy said.

“Well what?” the figure answered back.

“Don’t answer me back.” Judy warned, allowing an icy edge to her voice, “Tell me what it is this time. Did you steal something? Did you get into a fight? I can’t see any ruffled fur and you’re not in cuffs, so please tell me you didn’t at least do something illegal!”

“Why do you care?” the figure replied in a snarky tone, “Think I’m embarrassing your position, _Chief_?”

“I _care_ because I’m your _mother_ , Nicholas!”

******

_Yeah, I’m a mother. And this… well, we’ve never figured out what to call this genetic miracle. Some have teased him with names like ‘funny’ or ‘box’. More accurate terms would probably be ‘rabbox’ or ‘fobbit’. That’s if the doctors who poked and prodded him during his earliest hours haven’t come up with their own term._

_Nicholas Hopps, whatever he is, is the child I tried to abort. And I did go in for it. But something happened when I was in there. I don’t know what it was, but I suffered a massive panic attack. The doctor later told me that, somehow, the kit had triggered a large amount of panic-inducing hormones through me. He said that heightened tension had caused this to happen and that it was unwise to attempt a termination until I could be sure that I would not have a repeat. Rabbits have high heart rates and the doctor was afraid that the stress of the termination could couple with the panic attack and cause my heart to explode._

_I never went through with it._

_I have no idea whether that caused me to change my mind, or whether my family back in Bunnyburrow convinced me. Or maybe, somehow, my unborn kit could sense what was going to happen and did what he could to stop it. Maybe it was all three._

_He’s a survivor._

_He’s a Hopps._

_And he’s my son._ Our _son._

******

“You’re fourteen years old, for Fox’s sake.” Judy crossed her arms, “I care less about you embarrassing me in my position than I do that you’ve taken to your fox side.”

Judy leaned against the desk.

“Heaven knows I’ve tried to tackle this.” Judy said, “I’ve tried to get you to _open up to me_ and tell me what is going on. At the rate you’re going, you’ll end up in jail.”

_Or worse._

“And you’ll put me there?” Nicholas scoffed, “Some mother you are.” He turned to leave.

“Get back here, Nicholas! We’re not done yet.” Judy growled.

Nicholas let out a breath through his nose and spun back around.

“What are you going to do? Ground me?” he mocked. Judy’s scowl deepened.

“I’ll do worse than that.” Judy said, “I’ll send you to your grandmother’s.”

Nicholas’ eyes widened slightly at those words.

******

_Nicholas knows that Grandma Bonnie isn’t someone he should mess with. Don’t ask me how she does it, but she can put the fear of God into the bravest of mammals. Heck, she’s done it to Dad quite a few times when he’s stepped out of line._

_Nicholas has been worse since we learned that his other grandmother is dying. I know, I know: why should I have anything to do with the Wildes after what happened? But Nicholas is_ his _son whether I like it or not, and he had a right to know his paternal grandparents. Or, rather: grandmother._

_Nick never told me what happened to his father. It was always a touchy subject, and Nick always tried to change it. His mother, on the other hand: I could not know a sweeter vixen. And despite his… behavioural problems… Nicholas had gotten to know her well enough over the past few years._

_Since learning that Viola is dying, Nicholas' behaviour has worsened. And it’s gotten worse because she can no longer remember him. Yet he still goes around her house, maybe in a secret hope that just by being there, he can bring her back, stop her from leaving._

_Trust him to behave like Nick did when he was his age. Like father, like son. It’s a painful reminder._

_Do I miss him?_

_Yes. Yes, I do._

_But I’m also angry at the way he left me._

_The cynics out there might be wondering if all I cared about was making Nick pay for Nicholas. I don’t care about that. I’d never have asked for a cent from Nick. But I would have liked for him to have gotten to know his son. Maybe with a fatherly influence, Nicholas might have turned out very different. After all, Nick had the experience of being on the receiving end of terrible adversity. He should have been there to comfort Nicholas through his troubles._

_Nick not being here is on both of us. I should have gone to Nick sooner, rather than sneaking behind his back. After everything we had been through, it was like I was back to square one with him._

_I’ll never forget the hurt look in his eyes. The blood dripping from his mouth from where I hit him._

_I never got the chance to apologise for that. It was completely out of character, but I was under a fog of panic and we all do things we would otherwise never do when we’re panicked._

_But he should never have said the things he did. And he should never have left._

_There’s a lot of things that shouldn’t have happened. But they did. So, here I am, Chief of Precinct One after Bogo accepted the job of Commissioner, with a wayward son who is far more like his father than I would like._

******

“Look…” Judy stepped forward, “I know it’s hard.”

“No, you don’t.” Nicholas said.

“What?” Judy blinked.

“You _don’t_!” Nicholas repeated, his voice louder this time, “ _You’re_ not the freak of nature that should never have been born!”

“You’re not a freak!” Judy protested, taken aback by the sudden outburst.

“Oh, no?” Nicholas rounded on her, “What do you call me? I’m not a fox, and I’m not a rabbit. I’ve tried living both ways. You know the last time you took me to Grandma and Grandpa Hopps? I had some of my cousins have a go! ‘Freak! Funny freak! Box freak! Abomination! You shouldn’t have been born!’ You don’t know what it’s like because you’re too busy with your job!”

“I’m _trying_ , Nicholas!” Judy said, “I’m trying to be there for you!”

“You job just gets in the way.” Nicholas snarled.

“No, _you_ won’t let me!” Judy pointed a finger at Nicholas, “How am I supposed to be there for you when you won’t _let me in_?!”

Nicholas opened his mouth to retort but seemed to think better of it. Judy stepped up to him. She grabbed his shoulders.

“I’m your _mother_.” Judy said, “First and foremost, _you_ come first, no matter what I do here. And I’ve _tried_ to be there. But you’re just as closed off as your father was.”

Nicholas let out a snort.

“And when will I ever learn about _him_?” Nicholas demanded, “You tell me that he ran away before I was born, but I’ve heard that you two had an argument. I’ve heard _whispers_ when I’m in Bunnyburrow.”

“It’s…” Judy began, “It’s complicated. One day, I’ll tell you everything, but right now, you’re too…”

“Too young and too conflicted.” Nicholas finished. He had heard this before.

“I’m sorry, Son.” Judy said, “I really am. I know it’s been so much harder from you since learning that Grandma Wilde is…”

Nicholas looked away.

******

_I’ve tried my best. It’s not easy being a single mother, let alone the single mother who has the troubled son and the job of Chief of Zootopia’s finest police precinct. I’ve been alone since the day Nick left. Heavens above, I tried to date. Nicholas needed a father figure in his life, but no matter where I looked, I could never find one who shaped up. So, in the end, I did the only thing I swore I would never do again, after Nick._

_I gave up looking._

_So, here I am. The most senior figure in the ZPD before Commissioner, a mother, and apart from my son, alone. So, so alone. And at times like this, I feel even more alone. I can only imagine how alone Nicholas must feel sometimes._

_And the loneliness sometimes gives way to anger. Anger at Nick for leaving. Anger at myself for letting him leave. Anger for not trying harder. For letting things fall apart. Because they did._

_When Nicholas leaves, I return to my desk, open the drawer and pull out a bottle of whisky. Drinking is not something I used to do, and it’s not something I do often either. Just when things get a bit too much for me. It’s better than any of the alternatives._

_But, no. I put the bottle back in the drawer, lock it, get up from my chair and wander over to the mirror in the office. I look myself over in the mirror._

_Forty-two, yet I sometimes think I look a good ten years older than I am. I know I certainly_ feel _like it._

******

Judy’s phone beeped. She returned to her desk and picked it up. It was a message from Nicholas:

_I’m going to be round Grandma Wilde’s. Pick me up when you’re finished._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you there was two sides to every story. I hope I got it across that Judy’s not proud of what she’s done but there’s an understandable anger with it as well.
> 
> I’m doing this in much shorter chapters than I would normally. It suits the style of the story I want to tell here.
> 
> Next chapter: Nick comes face-to-face with his (unknowing) offspring.


	3. Family Matters

** Family Matters **

(From the point of view of Nick)

The taxi pulled up on Cypress Grove Lane. Nick stared up at the apartment block, the place he grew up. The apartment block was situated within a gigantic artificial tree stump. The walls peeking through the ‘roots’ were painted in faded green, and the block had street-level entrances to the ground floor apartments, each of which had a small porch. Nick glanced at the door to the apartment that was numbered ‘1955’. The apartment itself was one of the bigger ones, boasting three bedrooms, a kitchen and a living room. Nick remembered one of the rooms was used by his father, when he was alive, as a room where he could work on his suits without having to go out to Happytown and to the shop.

There were a lot of memories in that place. Nick wondered if in the fifteen years since he had last seen the apartment, whether his mother had redecorated and replaced that gaudy wallpaper in the hallway, the one that ironically inspired his choice of Pawaiian shirts when he was younger.

“Is this where you lived, Dad?” Robin asked.

“Yes, son.” Nick nodded, “It was. For a long time.”

******

_Why did I leave it so long to come back here? Sure, I spoke with her on the phone every weekend, and I sent cards, and letters. And sometimes, I sent money too, when Finnick would tell me that she was struggling. I offered to bring her out on more than one occasion to Mexicat, but she declined my offers._

_I should have broken my vow long ago._

_I’ve not been a good son. I know this. And now I’ll live to regret that choice._

_I’m hesitant: will Mom want to see me? Will she be disappointed? What am I to expect?_

******

Nick paid the cab driver and got out of the cab, stopping only to pick up his luggage from the boot. He glanced at the apartment again.

“Dad?” Robin said. Nick stared down at his son.

“Let’s go, Robin.” Nick said finally. He nudged open the gate that separated the Cypress Grove apartments from the street with a leg and crossed into the front porch of number 1955, with Robin in tow. He glanced briefly at a plant pot underneath the porch, next to the front door. That plant pot used to have a key hidden underneath it, in case of emergency. Nick wondered if the key was still there, but thought better of finding out and using it. It didn’t seem appropriate. So instead, Nick placed his suitcase on the ground and rang the doorbell.

From beyond the glass in the door, Nick could see movement. The movements of the figure behind the door seemed shaky. Nick’s tail dropped and his ears flattened against his skull in anticipation of the worst.

The door opened. The figure on the other side was a vixen of 67 years. Her fur was dulled and greying. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her arms trembled slightly.

“Yes?” she asked, her eyes shifting over Nick’s form.

“Hi, Mom.” Nick replied, “I’m home.”

******

_She looked bad. I mean, really bad. It looked like she wasn’t eating properly: she was thinner than when I saw her last. Guilt plagued me at the sight. Her arms trembled, a sign of the cancer taking her motor control. Her eyes seemed a bit unfocused, and I wondered if she could see me all that well. Then I remembered that the black fur would make things complicated. It was lucky that the fur dye was semi-permanent: a few good washes and I’d be back to my old colour._

_My thoughts ended when the shaky voice finally responded to me._

******

“… Nicholas?” Viola squinted, “Nicky?”

Nick smiled, though he could feel the tears coming to him at the sight. As if unable to believe it, Viola stepped forward and grabbed hold of him. Then she pulled him to her in a tight hug.

“Nicky! You’re home!” she said, crying into Nick’s suit, “You came back…”

“I’m sorry it had to be this way.” Nick returned the embrace gingerly, as if afraid to break her.

After a few moments, she broke away from Nick and stared down at Robin, who seemed a little shy. Viola stared at the young kit as though she had seen him somewhere before but couldn’t remember.

“Mom, this is Robin. My son.” Nick said in a tone that would hopefully remind her. Viola crouched down slightly, a warm but pained smile on her face.

“Hello, Robin.” Viola said, opening her arms in offer. Robin seemed apprehensive at first, but a slight nudge from Nick convinced him to take a step forward and into Viola’s arms. She hugged him tightly, as if she had never seen a kit before. Robin seemed a bit flustered at the attention.

Viola let go and clumsily got to her feet. She brushed herself off.

“Don’t stand on the porch, you two. Come in.” she smiled weakly. Nick picked up his suitcase and followed Robin inside. As he passed Viola, Nick passed his paw briefly over her shoulder, giving her a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

******

_She tells me what I already know: that she’s been suffering for a year. And in typical Viola Wilde fashion, she neglected to tell me in our correspondence because she didn’t want to be a bother to me. She started to notice things were going wrong when she got headaches out of the blue and blurred vision. Then the trembling started, and the unsteadiness. On bad days, Mom tells me she forgets things. She did go to a doctor, who sent her for tests._

_I’m a little angry at Finnick for not telling me sooner. He clearly knew, but Mom told me that she pleaded with him not to say anything to me unless it got really bad. Fin always did have a soft spot for her._

_She tells me that in the past year, she has had help around the house by a young lad who comes by every few days. Of course, me being me, I’m immediately suspicious of the motives of this as-yet-unseen boy. She tells me that she can’t quite make him out, but that she knew he had russet fur like a fox, but was too short to be a normal red fox. Perhaps a dwarf of some variety, she surmised. It didn’t matter to her: Fin came around when he could, and when he wasn’t here, this boy would come around and do chores that Mom was just becoming too infirm to do._

_I ask her why she didn’t want me to know. Really._

_She said I had my own life to lead and that she knew this city held too many painful memories. She didn’t want to burden me with more._

_Too late for that. I have to watch my mother, the woman who raised me as best as she could without my father, waste away in her final weeks before the cancer finally decides it has had enough of torturing her and takes her away._

_At least she got to meet her grandson in person. And I’m really hoping that the cancer isn’t cruel enough to rob that from her, because it’s clearly already robbed her of so many memories, including those where she’s conversed and corresponded with Robin._

******

“Nicky…” Viola said, “Black really isn’t your colour.”

Nick let out a small chuckle at that.

“The dye?” Nick asked, “Or the suit?”

“Both.” Viola replied, “As gaudy as those shirts you used to wear were, you were at least more colourful. You look like you’re dressed for a funeral.”

“Maybe I am.” Nick said.

“Not mine, I hope.” Viola said, “I know it’s coming, but I don’t want you to mourn me. I want to be remembered as I was, during the good times. And that black fur dye is horrible. You look much more handsome with russet fur.”

Nick couldn’t say anything to that, but he felt his ears heat up slightly.

“And your son…” Viola said, glancing at Robin, “Ah, I might not be able to see him very well, but I can tell that he has your looks. Not your eyes, though. I take it his mother was blue-eyed?”

“She was an arctic fox.” Nick replied. Generally, arctic foxes had blue eyes.

“Was she?” Viola paused for a moment. Nick’s expression fell: Viola should have _known_ Anabel was an arctic fox. Nick had told her in the past. This was clearly a result of the tumour taking her mind.

“Is this something I’m supposed to have known?” Viola said, catching Nick’s expression through the fog in her vision, “I’m so sorry, Nicky.”

“Pay it no mind, Mom.” Nick shook his head, fighting back the urge to cry himself.

Viola said nothing for a few moments. Then she looked up.

“Have you bumped into the rabbit yet?” Viola asked, “I forget her name… is it Julia? Julia Potts?”

Nick’s expression darkened slightly, but he knew that he should not let it show that the subject would get to him.

“No, Mom.” Nick replied, “We broke up, remember? It’s why I left.”

“Ah, yes.” Viola nodded, “Um… what did she do again?”

Nick glanced down at Robin. The less he knew about Judy Hopps, the better.

“It’s probably better you don’t know.” Nick shrugged.

“It must have been horrible.” Viola said, striking a nerve with Nick unintentionally. Nick left the statement unanswered.

******

_I offer to stay over. After all, I should be the one looking after my mother, not Fin, who I have asked too much of, and not some random guy off the street._

_Of course, Mom insists that she doesn’t need a babysitter, but I remind her that me and Robin have no place to go. The truth is that I can easily afford a hotel. I hate to guilt her like that, especially in her weaker state, but I have to keep an eye on her. And she agrees in the end to let me and Robin stay, in the spare room that used to be my father’s work study._

_Once we got settled, I go about making lunch for us all. Mom, of course, insists that I am a guest in her house, but how can I let her do any work? So, I shoo her out of the kitchen and ask her to keep Robin occupied. I can hear the pair playing Snap in the living room._

_I hear the front door click open. After all, the kitchen was literally just down the hall. I don’t know if Mom or Robin heard it, but I hear it. So, I go to the front door to find a kid, probably no older than fourteen, standing in the doorway of my mother’s house, key in hand. The pot has been tipped over. Clearly, he knows the key was kept under it._

_Strange didn’t even begin to describe the kid. He wears a brown jacket, white t-shirt and jeans, his fur is a light brown and his ear tips are dark brown like my own. His snout is definitely shorter, his nose is just so… un-fox-like. His ears are also shaped funny: taller than fox ears but with pointed tips. His eyes are lavender, an unusual thing in any canid._

******

In one swift move, Nick closed the distance between him and the strange kid before he could even turn away. None too gently, Nick grabbed hold of the boy’s arms and forced him up against one of the pillars of the front porch.

“Who are you?” Why are you here? Nick demanded, “And be warned: I’ll know if you lie.”

“I was about to ask you!” the boy returned, grimacing as Nick’s tight grip pinned him.

Nick leaned closer to the boy.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing here, but I’ll be taking care of my mother from here on out.” Nick said. The boy’s eyes widened in apparent surprise. And then suddenly, Nick found the boy’s feet, very much unlike a canid’s, against his chest and he found himself forced back.

The move caught Nick by surprise, allowing the boy to run, but Nick got to his feet quickly and gave chase. He caught up to the boy and tackled him to the ground.

“Get off me!” the boy shouted, “Get off! My Mom’s the Chief of Police!”

“I don’t care if your mother is the _Easter bunny_!” Nick grunted as he seized the boy’s legs and pinned him down to the ground, “Why did you run? What have you got to hide? If you’ve been thieving from my mother, then there’ll be hell to pay!”

“Because she’s my grandma!” the boy burst out. The outburst caused Nick to freeze in place.

“I…” Nick said, his breath catching, “I beg… your pardon?”

“Yeah…” the boy sat up, “I didn’t know until you said you were Grandma Wilde’s son. Hi, _Dad._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fated meeting between estranged father and son.
> 
> The tooth fairy line – unintentional irony. I didn’t realise just how that sounded until after I typed it.
> 
> I must say, I’m a little overwhelmed by the response this story has had on both AO3 and FF.net. Thank you all for your support on this one, because I feel I took a risk even writing this.
> 
> At the moment it seems readers lean mostly in Nick’s favour on this one, but bear in mind that I haven’t played all my cards yet. Their argument from fifteen years ago will be appearing in a future chapter and once you read that, you can make a clearer decision as to who is in the right, if either of them are.
> 
> This chapter should answer a few of the questions left over from the previous two chapters.


	4. Truth Will Out

** Truth Will Out **

(From the point of view of Nick) 

_This wasn’t possible._

_It just wasn’t._

_There’s no way that this… this boy…_

_He’s trying to hustle me. He_ has _to be._

 _Because I know_ she _did it. She carried it out. She went through with it._

_There’s no way I couldn’t have known._

_So, it’s a hustle. Clearly, I’m dealing with an amateur who doesn’t know you can’t hustle a hustler. Or even a former hustler._

******

The kid sat up, his face a snarl.

“Yeah, you’re the _deadbeat_ who ran from my mother while she was pregnant with me!” the kid snarled.

Nick was too shocked to respond.

“Say something!” the kid demanded.

“Judy Hopps… is your mother?” was all Nick could manage.

“Damn straight she is!” the kid replied, his lavender eyes boring into Nick with unbridled contempt.

 ******

_It’s true._

_I can see it in his eyes._

_Those eyes, which I see are so very much like hers._

_Those eyes, filled with so much confusion, hurt, betrayal._

_I knew what he was feeling. Because at this moment, I’m feeling it too._

******

“What’s your name, kid?” Nick asked.

“What does it matter?” the kid replied.

“Because it’s easier to call you by your name than it is to call you ‘kid’.” Nick replied.

There was silence between the two for a moment. Then the kid spoke.

“Nicholas.” The kid replied, “Nicholas Hopps. And you’re Nick Wilde, world’s worst father.”

******

_She named him after me? Why? What was she thinking?_

_I think about it for a second, then discard the thought. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Judy doesn’t appear to have told him the truth._

_If Judy wants to play this game, she’s picked the wrong one to play with._

_And as I’m about to make it known exactly_ how _Nicholas came to be, in spite of everything…_

******

“Dad? What’s going on?” came a shaky voice from behind Nick. Nick and Nicholas turned around to Robin, who had heard the commotion and come to see what was going on. Behind him was Viola.

“That’s him.” Viola frowned, “That’s the young lad who’s been helpful. But why are you pinning him down?”

Nicholas seemed completely dumbstruck at the sight before him: Nick, Robin, Viola. Then he snarled. Nick let go, as though Nicholas’ very skin had burned his paws.

“Oh, _that’s_ how it is, is it?” Nicholas said. Nick turned his attention back to him.

“You ran off to father a son with _somebody else_ rather than stay with the son you had?” Nicholas snarled, “You’re pathetic.”

“Did you know?” Nick asked Viola, attempting to keep his feelings in check.

“Know what, Son?” Viola blinked.

“Did you know that this…” Nick indicated to Nicholas, “… whatever he is… is your grandson?”

“No.” Viola blinked, “Did you have another kit?”

“No.” Nick replied, “Yes. I don’t know! This is Judy’s!”

******

_She didn’t go through with it._

She didn’t go through with it!

_How could she not have told me?_

_How did she keep it a secret for fifteen years?_

_Mother obviously didn’t know. I’m guessing Judy never visited her after her first attempts to find me failed. Or mother told her never to darken her doorway again. Or maybe she did know but the cancer took that knowledge away… I don’t know!_

_Did Fin know? Not likely, but you never knew._

_And surely, if they didn’t know, she could at least have told them! I’d have heard. I might even have changed my mind earlier on. I might still have hated what Judy did, but I’d have come back for him, and in an ideal world, we might even have worked through it._

******

Nick pulled out his phone and dialled Finnick.

“ _Yo, Nick. You back?_ ” Finnick asked.

“Did you know?” Nick demanded.

“ _Yeah, I knew about your mother dying, but she told me not to say…_ ”

“No, not that!” Nick replied, “Did you know Judy had the child?”

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the line.

“ _Shit… you sure?_ ” Finnick asked.

“I’m staring at him right now!” Nick shouted, “Tell me you didn’t know!”

“ _Well, hell, Nick!_ ” Finnick replied, “ _I’m glad that fifteen years hasn’t dulled your sense of suspicion in even your friends! No, I didn’t know! I haven’t seen Chew Toy in fifteen years, and once you left, the Big family shut me out, so I never heard anything through them either! And you know I never trust what it says on the news, so if it was on there, I never saw it!_ ”

A rumble tore through Nick’s throat.

“ _What you gonna do?_ ” Finnick asked.

Nick ran a paw through his head.

“I don’t know, Fin.” Nick said, “I don’t know.”

“ _… Right. Well, I’ll leave you to it._ ” Finnick said, “ _But if you need me… you know where you can find me._ ”

The line went dead and Nick stared at his phone for a moment.

“There’s no way _you_ were kept a secret… for fifteen years.” Nick said, “I need answers.”

Nicholas stayed silent, his glare filled with contempt for Nick.

“You don’t want to talk? Fine.” Nick dragged himself to his feet, and Nicholas got up from the ground, “Mom, go back to the apartment.”

“Oh.” Viola said, “Well… that’s…”

“Please, Mom.” Nick said, “I don’t know if this is about to get ugly or not and I’d rather not have you watch.”

“Do you want me to watch Robin?” Viola asked.

“No, Mom.” Nick shook his head, “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything, but…”

“My memory isn’t what it used to be and I’m shaky.” Viola frowned, “I get it.”

“That’s not what I mean, Mom.” Nick denied.

Viola let out a shaky sigh through her nostrils.

“Whatever you think is best, Son.” She turned to leave, but Nick stepped forward and took hold of her.

“I love you, Mom.” Nick said, “Whatever happens, remember that.”

Viola hugged Nick back briefly, then Nick let her go and watched her as she went back inside. Once the door closed, Nick turned back to Nicholas.

“Let’s clear the air here.” Nick said.

“I have nothing to say to you.” Nicholas responded.

“That’s fine.” Nick replied, “Because there’s plenty to be said between us, and I’m known to be a great conversation-starter when I want to be. I’m going to ask you for one thing.”

Nicholas remained silent.

“Look, kid.” Nick said, “This will all just go easier if you help me out here. You think I’m a deadbeat? Give me a chance prove you wrong.”

“… what do you want from me?”

“Your mother’s mobile number.” Nick replied, “I suspect she’s changed it. It’s what I did. Then you can hear us both out. Of course, I could just march right into Precinct One and ask to speak to the Chief. But this would be easiest for us all.”

******

_I confess, I don’t know whether what I was about to do was a good idea or not. But I think the time has come for me and Judy to have a face-to-face._

_I honestly didn’t expect the kid to give me the phone number, but there it is: he did the unexpected. Perhaps he’s not as far gone as I first feared._

_He keeps staring at Robin, who is now behind me, clutching at the tail of my suit jacket. I’m not surprised. The kid’s clearly conflicted, and angry, and Robin can see that. I would be too. He needs answers as much as I do._

******

Nick pulled his phone from his pocket and typed in the phone number given to him. Holding the phone to his ear, he heard the phone ring.

“ _Hopps._ ” Came the voice from the other end of the line.

“We need to talk.” Nick said, “I’ll be at the last place we spoke to each other, fifteen years ago. Please, for the love of all things, don’t make this more complicated.”

There was a brief pause.

“ _Who is this?_ ”

“My voice doesn’t sound so different, does it?” Nick remarked, “You wound me, Carrots.” Nick winced inwardly at his choice in words, but carried on nonetheless, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“ _… Nick?_ ” came the reply.

“Twenty minutes, Carrots. I’ll even bring Nicholas with me.”

With that, Nick dropped the call and quickly dialled Finnick back.

“ _Yo, you miss the sound of my voice already?_ ”

“Can you bring the van round to Cypress Grove?”

“… _so, it’s happening, then?_ ” Finnick asked.

“Yes, it is.” Nick said, “It’s long overdue.”

“ _I’ll be round quickly._ ” Finnick replied, before the call dropped.

******

_Finnick is true to his word: he gets here within five minutes. Nicholas gets in the van of his own free will. Perhaps he knows what was coming, that he has to be there to witness this._

_Funny thing is, on our way there, Robin actually sits next to Nicholas. Nicholas seems surprised at first, but I could swear I see a smile, a real smile flicker briefly on his face. That is before he catches my eye and glares hard at me. Maybe he’s not as contempt-filled as he made himself out to be. I can’t blame him for being this way, and I’m guessing he doesn’t blame Robin for the situation either: nobody asks to be born into it._

_At one point, Nicholas’ phone buzzes and he picks it up, and types away briefly before pocketing his phone again._

_I ask Finnick if he wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on Robin while me and Judy talk. He simply grunts an affirmative. Typical Fin. Grumpy though Finnick is, I know Robin will be okay with him while me and Judy talk. After all, he took me in when I was a tyke who had just had his dreams crushed. He might act tough, but he’s a big softie inside._

_Don’t ever tell him that. He’ll bite your face off._

_So here we are. One big not-so-happy family about to go and… well. I don’t really know what to call this. Am I headed for a train wreck? Another hit in the face? Arrest for kidnapping and assault?_

_Too late to change course now. For better or worse, me and Judy are about to re-enter each other’s lives._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve taken the original versions of this chapter and the following chapter down because you guys were right: I got caught up in what I was writing, and as a result, I did not keep it consistent with itself. As much as Nick would be angry, it is true that he would not leave Robin in the care of his ailing mother. In truth, quite frankly, I hated the last version of this chapter, because it started out good in my book but I got too carried away, but I ran with it anyway. Any reviews you read are for an old version of this chapter and the following chapter and do not speak for these versions.


	5. Hope Is Eternal

** Hope Is Eternal **

(From the point of view of Judy)

_Nicholas had only discovered who his grandmother was five years ago._

_At first, I dared not go around to her place myself. I thought Viola would make it quite plain how unwelcome I was, after our previous encounter after Nick left. But when I went around to her apartment with Nicholas, while she wasn’t the most welcoming towards me, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared. She was sweet to Nicholas even if she was lukewarm to me._

_I didn’t forbid her from telling Nick, but she always said that it wasn’t her place to tell him about our son. She never hid her impatience with me about the issue though. She even gave me Nick’s phone number._

_I’ve had that number for years, but I’ve never called. I’ve gotten close, but then the shame and anger hits me and I…_

_I was just… I was just too scared to face what might happen._

_I’m a coward. I’m the worst. I feel just like I did after that press conference, eighteen years ago._

_Then Viola learned she had cancer. The day I learned, I nearly called Nick then. He had the right to know everything._

_Viola swore me to secrecy. She said that, just as much as it is solely my right to tell Nick about our son, it’s solely her right to decide to tell Nick whether she is dying or not._

_It was very upsetting, especially for Nicholas, when Viola started to forget things. Small things at first, but a couple of months ago, when I picked Nicholas up from there, she recognised me… and treated me like she had when I first introduced myself to her. Like nothing had gone wrong. She remembers Nick going away, but can’t remember why._

_A month ago, she could barely remember me at all. And she had no idea who Nicholas was, beyond the boy who’s been coming around her apartment to help her out._

_That hurt, but I think it hurt Nicholas a lot more: she’s the one link he has to his father. He just hasn’t made his mind up on how much of that link he wants, and now it’s going to slip away._

******

Judy glanced up at the clock on the wall. It read 13:15. She hadn’t had lunch yet, though right now, Judy didn’t feel particularly hungry.

Still, she had to eat _something_.

So, she set the report she was reading down onto her desk, got up out of her chair and headed for the door. She headed downstairs to the ground floor. Made her way to the cafeteria.

“Chief.” Grunted Higgins as she passed.

“Higgins.” Judy replied with a curt nod.

She entered the cafeteria. There were several officers in there. Each one gave her a brief nod as she passed them on the way to the counter. Stepping onto the shelf meant for smaller animals, Judy took a look at what was up today.

It all looked almost inedible, and the smell turned Judy’s stomach.

Judy hopped from the shelf and walked out of the cafeteria. She went up to the main desk, and there sat Clawhauser.

******

_Ah, Benjamin Clawhauser, the Precinct receptionist and chronic Precinct One gossip. You know, I was angry with him once, after I found out that he told Nick, but I couldn’t stay angry with him, not least because when Clawhauser gets angry, it’s so rare that it’s shocking. He told me a few home truths: that if I loved Nick so much, then why was I sneaking around behind his back? He said that he used to look up to me as a friend, but that I had disappointed him and everybody else. And he refused to talk to me for a good two months afterward. In the end, Bogo had to force Clawhauser out on the beat, something that had never done with Clawhauser previously as he preferred Clawhauser on the front desk, with me in order for us to reconcile (after a fashion). By then, I was starting to show, and Clawhauser was one of the first to pick it up. Say what you like about Clawhauser and his rotund appearance, but he has an excellent sense of smell. And being in close proximity to me, he could smell the change in my scent. I confirmed that I was keeping the child. He asked if Nick knew, and I replied that Nick was out of reach, that I had tried to find him. He accepted that, even if I think he felt I hadn’t done all I could. And at least it got us back on speaking terms._

_We’re friends again now, but not as good friends as we could be. Maybe my being his boss is a barrier on top of what was already there._

_Why must my special power be pushing those I care about away?_

_Anyway, I tell Clawhauser I’m stepping out for a bit. He cheerfully acknowledges and I step outside, when I feel my phone vibrating and the tune to Gazelle’s newest song, ‘Hope is Eternal’. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I glance at the screen._

_Number not recognised._

_I’m hesitant in answering, not least because Mr. Big, before he died four years ago, used to call through such numbers. He never asked for favours – he owed me a life debt according to his own rules for saving the life of his daughter Fru-Fru eighteen years ago – but I always dreaded hearing from him, not least because it did endanger my career – if Internal Affairs ever found out, I’d be lucky not to be imprisoned, let alone fired._

_I decide to answer it anyway._

******

“Hopps.” She said into the speaker.

“ _We need to talk._ ” The voice on the other end of the line said, “ _I’ll be at the last place we spoke each other, fifteen years ago. Please, for the love of things don’t make this any more complicated._ ”

“Who is this?” Judy asked.

“ _My voice doesn’t sound so different, does it?_ ” came the reply, “ _You wound me, Carrots. I’ll be there in twenty minutes._ ”

Judy made the connection as soon as the old nickname came up.

“… Nick?” Judy said.

“ _Twenty minutes, Carrots. I’ll even bring Nicholas with me._ ”

The line went dead. Judy stared at her phone.

******

_He knows. Oh, Gods above, he knows._

_What do I do? It doesn’t sound like Nick’s threatening Nicholas, but I’m still his mother, and I’m still worried for him. What could Nick do to him? What could he_ tell _him?_

_I text Nicholas, asking if he’s okay, if he’s hurt. Within minutes, I get a text from him._

_‘I’m okay. I’m not being held hostage.’_

_I don’t feel relief. Instead, I feel a huge tension flood me. What could Nick tell Nicholas while he’s taking him to my apartment?_

_I try to dial the number Nick called me from. It goes straight to voicemail. He’s switched his phone off._

_I go inside and tell Clawhauser that I’ll be going home for lunch and that I’ll contact him should I need assistance. Not that I’m thinking this will turn ugly like it did last time._

_Clawhauser seems worried. He can tell I’m a little stressed, probably picked up on it through my scent. I tell him I’ll be fine, but I’m not sure he’s buying it. However, he does let it go._

_I get into my cruiser and drive home._

_Home for me is an apartment situated three blocks from the Precinct, on the first floor of an apartment complex. I’ve lived there for sixteen years now. Nick and I bought it together. I got to choose the decoration of the master bedroom and the bathroom, and he got to choose the decoration of the living room and kitchenette, and as a result, those rooms have a gaudy green wallpaper in much the same style as those Pawaiian shirts he used to wear._

******

Judy stared out of the window of her apartment as a familiar van pulled up. She’d know that artwork on its side anywhere: the van belonged to Finnick, Nick’s old fennec fox friend.

The back door opened and Judy could see Nicholas get out. Then the passenger door opened. Out stepped a fox dressed in a black suit, with black fur. He turned back into the van to say something to the driver, then closed the door, and the van drove off.

******

_Nick changed his look. Did he really not want to be found? Or was this some sort of ‘new me’ reinvention? The black fur… I preferred his natural colour._

_As I watch Nicholas traipse in to the building, Nick stops one moment and looks straight up at the window._

_At me._

_A leaden weight sits in my stomach. I’m dreading what’s going to happen next. Is he going to yell at me? Call me more names?_

_That doesn’t tally up. If he wanted that, he could have abducted Nicholas and forced me into a confrontation with him._

_What’s his game? Is he playing one?_

_Nick turns away from the window and enters the building. I hear the door to the apartment click open as Nicholas steps inside. I run to him: he seems fine, but there’s an odd look in his eyes._

_I hug him. He stiffens in my arms, as though the attention is unwanted. It probably is, but I don’t care: I hug him anyway._

_Then Nick steps inside the apartment._

_He’s… all business. The suit he’s wearing is crisp and sharp. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. He always did have a habit of doing that when he didn’t want you to know what he was thinking. And suddenly, I’m right back there, right where we were, fifteen years ago. Maybe a little further back than that, before this whole mess started._

_He doesn’t look angry. If anything, a bit deflated. It takes the edge off the anger I’ve held for him all these years for him walking out._

_Maybe I just don’t have it in me to really hate him, after all._

_He’s just learned he’s about to lose his mother to a nasty disease, and in the same stretch, he discovers I didn’t go through with the abortion and that he has a son he didn’t know he had for the past fifteen years._

_But, sometimes, it’s the storm you don’t see that strikes hardest. That’s what I’m afraid of._

******

Judy let go of Nicholas, who looked like he had been hit by someone rather than given what Judy intended to be a loving hug.

“You didn’t redecorate, I see.” Nick looked around, indicating to the tropical leaf-print wallpaper.

“I liked it.” Judy replied, “It reminded me of…” she trailed off. Nick said nothing. His face remained in neutral as he headed for the kitchen and too a glass from the cupboard.

“No new crockery either.” Nick said, as he took a glass from the cupboard over to the sink and filled it with water. He took it over to Judy and handed it to her. She stared at Nick’s paw for a moment before accepting the glass.

“Thanks.” Judy murmured. Nick looked down at her through his sunglasses.

“Sit with me.” Nick said, as he sat on the sofa. He leaned forward his elbows on his knees, looking pensive as Judy sat on the sofa, putting a bit of distance between the two of them.

They both opened their mouths to say something.

Nicholas simply stared at the both of them, before scoffing loudly and heading straight into his bedroom. Judy made to go after him, but was stopped when Nick took hold of her wrist. Spinning towards him in an effort to make him let go, she saw that Nick was shaking his head.

“Let him go.” Nick said. He let Judy’s wrist go and she simply sat back down.

“What did you tell him?” Judy asked, trying her best to keep a bitter edge from her voice.

“I simply made a request of him.” Nick replied, “That he hears us both out. I guess he decided in the end that he didn’t want to listen.”

There was more silence between the two.

******

_He wanted to talk… but we’re both lost for words. And he still won’t take those sunglasses off._

_What do I say?_

_Do I say I’m sorry? Because I am. I did some stupid things when I was younger. I don’t regret having Nicholas, not in the slightest, but I wish I had gone to Nick first. I was younger, and in a panicked state. Nick didn’t help things, that’s for sure, but…_

_I can feel a great sadness well up in my gut as the leaden weight, the anger and bitterness, collapses._

_And before I know it, the tears start to come, and everything comes out._

******

Judy let out a sob. Nick, surprised by this, didn’t know what to do at first, but tentatively leaned forward and placed a paw on her back.

“Hey…” Nick said gently, “Hey, I came here prepared for… I don’t know what, to be honest, but not _this_.”

“I’m… sorry…” Judy sobbed.

Nick’s eyes grew wide beneath his sunglasses, though Judy couldn’t see anything more than the slight raising of his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to you first… I’m sorry I couldn’t be brave like I should have been… I’m sorry I made you think that I cared more for my career than I did your feelings… I’m sorry I hit you… I’m sorry that I pushed you away… I’m sorry I never found you to tell you the truth… and… I’m sorry I never tried to put things right between us…”

“Well, I didn’t come around here expecting you to apologise.” Nick said, frowning behind his glasses.

“It’s been…” Judy sniffed, “… maybe it’s been at the back of my mind all this time. There’s this voice inside that says I should be angry at you… but you should be angry at me too. You have every right to hate me for what I did.” Judy said, wiping at her eyes, “And you have every right to throw my apology back in my face.”

“Well, you’re wrong there.” Nick remarked.

Judy’s breath caught in her throat upon hearing that. She looked at Nick.

Judy’s eyes scanned Nick’s face, as though searching for something. Nick was as inscrutable as ever with those glasses on.

“You know, after all this time, I can’t really come to hate you.” Nick said, “I thought I could, and I thought I did, but seeing the kid… Nicholas… and seeing you like this… I don’t know… it’s just gone. Funny that… it feels like it did eighteen years ago.”

Nick shrugged.

“Maybe I’m just weak to bunny tears.” Nick attempted a joke, earning a choked sob from Judy. She knew what Nick was referring to: that one time under the bridge when she approached him to right the wrongs between them the first time after the disastrous press conference in which she unintentionally labelled all predators as potential savages.

“You… do you have a family?” Judy hiccoughed.

Nick turned his head to face her, his shielded eyes staring into hers.

“I do.” Nick admitted, “Since we’re going to have to be honest with each other… yes.”

Judy stayed silent for a moment, a silent tear falling.

******

_The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind that Nick might have moved on with his life. But how could I have expected otherwise, when I tried to do the same? How can I be angry at him? It’s like the anger I had before just melted into despair. Or maybe I just convinced myself what I was feeling was anger._

_I’m a dumb, dumb bunny._

_As much as I want to stop the tears coming, I can’t. They still fall._

_Dumb, emotional bunny._

******

Nick sighed heavily.

“For the longest time, I was stumbling in the dark after I left. Then one day, I met this vixen. Anabel… she was amazing. She lifted me up in a way I hadn’t felt for a long time. I won’t lie: I loved her. I loved her, and that love was all the stronger because I never thought I could love again, after you.”

Nick bowed his head.

“It didn’t last.” Nick said, letting out a chuckle that almost sounded like a sob, “How can anything I’m involved with last?”

“What happened?” Judy asked.

“She died.” Nick replied, “A year ago. An old ram hit her while she was crossing the road. She never even saw it coming.”

“Oh… Oh, Nick… I’m so sorry…” Judy said, feeling fresh tears coming.

“We have a son.” Nick confessed, “His name is Robin. I didn’t bring him in with me, just in case this got heated. Fin’s looking after him. If I know Fin well enough, he’s probably taking him on his first pawpsicle hustle.” Nick joked, trying to lighten the mood, “I’d like you to meet him. For what it’s worth, I’ve never offloaded any of my issues with you onto him. He knows I came from Zootopia, and he knows I loved somebody else before his mother, but he’s just a kid. I’m guessing that’s the reason you didn’t tell Nicholas why I left.”

Nick sighed, letting his arms fall between his knees.

“I had this fancy speech all mapped out in my head. ‘A lie by omission is still a lie’ and all that.” Nick continued on, “But I had a bit of time to think about it on the way over here, and I realise I’m no better, and it’s not something that Robin or Nicholas need to know right now. It’ll only hurt them to know.”

Judy stared at her feet.

“What you did… sneaking behind my back like that.” Nick said, “I was angry when I confronted you. I was upset. I should have known better. Hybridization like our son… it’s not something that happens often, and I can count on zero paws how many fox-bunny Crosses I know of. I should have noticed how scared it made you.”

Judy looked at Nick.

******

_I didn’t expect to hear that from him. But he’s right._

_When I learned I was pregnant with Nicholas, I first went to my doctor. We went through the usual questions and tests, but when I told him that my partner was a fox, and that Nick was the only one I had slept with… well, the doctor laughed first, thinking I was joking. There was no way a fox could get a bunny pregnant. Just not possible. At least, that was what I thought, and what he thought._

_But he took samples anyway, just to try and put me at ease._

_He wasn’t laughing on the second visit. He didn’t know how it had happened, nor could he explain it, but there it was: I was pregnant by a fox. And furthermore, I was two and a half months in. The typical rabbit gestation period would have been five months. Foxes have a gestation period almost double that, and as it turns out, I bore Nicholas for seven months._

_My imagination went into overdrive after the doctor’s confirmation, despite his best attempts to calm me down. I was afraid that I would give birth to some monstrosity, or that the baby would die, or that the baby would kill me in the process. The doctor tried his best to reassure me that wasn’t going to happen, but I was a unique case. No bunny had ever gotten pregnant by a fox before, so there was no way of knowing what sort of damage this would do._

_It just wound up doing a different kind of damage._

_Months later, I learned that there were others in Zootopia. A lot of them had gone into hiding during the Night Howler incident, and a lot of them were not ‘obvious’ hybrids. It somehow… relieved me to know I wasn’t the first. In fact, there was, when I investigated, a hare-wolf hybrid, though his parents were killed during the turmoil of the Night Howler incidents. There was next-to-no literature on hybrids, apart from very sparse scientific papers that in all honesty might as well have been in Ancient Echidnan._

******

“You know, even when I didn’t want to, I’ve thought about that day for a very long time.” Nick said, snapping Judy from her thoughts, “Something broke between us, and it shouldn’t have gone as far as it did. Maybe it’s too late to fix things.”

“No.” Judy shook her head.

“Even if we’re civil, even if we become friends again, even through the long, slow heal, things won’t ever be the same between us.” Nick said, “But I can try and make things a least a little bit right between us.”

Judy looked at Nick.

“I owe you an apology as well, boy do I ever.” Nick said, “I should never have called you a liar, or a baby killer. I shouldn’t have accused you of putting your career first. I shouldn’t have said I wished I never met you. I shouldn’t have said you were dead to me.”

Nick gritted his teeth. He took off his sunglasses, and threw them on the table, allowing Judy to see his eyes for the first time in fifteen years. She recognised the hurt and regret in them: she saw the same thing when she looked in a mirror.

“A part of me still cares for you after all this time, Judy.” Nick said, “I guess that’s the part I mistook for hate. I really want things to be okay, but they’re not. It’s going to take work.”

Judy wiped a tear away.

“Can we start off as friends, at least?” Judy asked.

Nick let out a breath through his nose.

“You know what?” Nick replied, “You with the unruly son and me with my mother dying… I think we could both use a friend right now.”

******

_It’s a start, at least. I think that we can work through this. That Nick could get to know Nicholas. I’m not expecting us to get back together. That’s off the table, there’s just too much water under the bridge for that to happen, but I think I can cope a little better with Nick as a friend than as someone who hates me._

_I hear Nicholas’ door creep open. He is stood there, and he’s doing something I haven’t seen him do in a long time, not since he was a kit._

_He’s crying._

_But his face… he’s angry. Angrier than I’ve ever seen him._

_Oh, God… was he listening to us? Did he hear what Nick said?_

_Before I can get up to console him, he runs for the door, opens it and storms out. This time Nick doesn’t stop me from going after him, but before I can get down the stairs, Nicholas is gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of sentimental, I know, given how I set them up in the previous chapters, but I wanted them both to be rational. Rational, but not unemotive. Seeing each other would cause all sorts of feelings to come to the surface that neither would have expected given they both expected a fiery confrontation of sorts. And it’s not like the film didn’t have a precedent for this as far as Nick was concerned. I got a lot of reviews on the old version (and some on the AO3 version, which did not necessitate a takedown) to the effect of 'If I were Nick, I'd really hate Judy'. I was not aiming for that at all. You could argue that Judy's prejudice should be enough to cut Nick off forever, that she shouldn't even have had the chance that Nick gave her. But he did. I saw no reason why history could not repeat itself, after a fashion. It was never my intention to make you side with Nick or Judy in this.
> 
> The idea for this was also inspired by NCIS and the relationship Gibbs has with his ex-wives: clearly there’s a lot of bad blood between them at the start but in the end it turns out that they don’t actually hate each other, and in fact still care for each other. It brought to mind a saying I heard once: hate is just love, turned bad.
> 
> Having them reconcile as friends seemed logical to me. I’m not exactly sold on how I presented it, but it’s a whole lot better than my last attempt at an encounter.
> 
> There was a small amendment I made to the second chapter to one of Judy’s monologues. It’s with regards to Viola, as it didn’t seem to make much sense to me that Judy wouldn’t have known the truth.
> 
> I’d just like to indicate that I don’t like telling stories through flashback, so odds are I won’t actually be giving a chronological account of the argument that split Nick and Judy apart. Having said that, you will get the information in this chapter.
> 
> Side note on gestation: rabbits gestate in one month and foxes in roughly double that time, but the Zootopia appears to give mammals human life-spans, so I had to stretch it out. However, Nicholas, being a hybrid, would, in my mind, have developed in an amount of time somewhere between the two.


	6. Wilde And Son's

** Wilde And Son’s **

(From the point of view of Nicholas)

Nicholas had only heard what was said between Nick and Judy because he was standing at the door, which stood slightly ajar, enough for the sounds coming from the sofa opposite the door to his room to reach him in his room. He listened to the conversation after hearing his mother, somebody who he had not seen cry in a long time, start crying. At first, Nicholas first thought that it was something that Nick had said that had caused her to cry, and he was ready to fling the door open and give him a piece of his mind.

Then he heard the words Judy had to say to Nick:

“ _I’m sorry I didn’t come to you first… I’m sorry I couldn’t be brave like I should have been… I’m sorry I made it sound like I cared more for my career than I did your feelings… I’m sorry I hit you… I’m sorry that I pushed you away… I’m sorry I never found you to tell you the truth… You have every right to hate me for what I did._ ”

Why would his mother be apologising? To him of all mammals? Nicholas still believed that Nick had walked out on Nicholas’ mother. Even if he felt she didn’t understand him like she should, Nicholas didn’t believe that she could be at fault for any of this. So, Nicholas pressed his ear closer to the crack in the door. There were a lot of words that meant very little to Nicholas.

Up until Nick apologised.

“ _I should never have called you a liar, or a baby killer. I shouldn’t have said I wished I never met you. I shouldn’t have said you were dead to me._ ”

 _Baby killer_.

Nicholas reeled at that word as it echoed in his mind. It brought back so many other memories with it.

_You should never have been born._

_Freak._

The dots connected so easy, so effortlessly, that Nicholas didn’t quite understand what the thought meant at first.

Then the words all came together, and Nicholas’ mind provided translation for it:

‘ _Mother wanted to abort me._ ’

Then the comprehension dawned on him. And with it, he felt a mixture of different emotions.

Anger. Betrayal. Disgust. Pain. Moroseness.

 ******

_I know that I’m… unique in my status. And it already felt lonely. I always thought that my mother never understood me._

_Now I know why._

_My mother wanted to kill me before I was born._

_My father walked out because she tried to hide the truth, but that doesn’t excuse his running away, his refusal to even live in the same state, let alone the same city, as the woman who apparently broke his heart. Because of that, he had no idea I even existed._

_My mother is a liar, and my father is a coward._

_My mind races. I can feel my blood running cold, then hot. The thought makes me angry, and bitter. I can feel the angry tears falling down my face as I open the door. They both stare at me as if surprised that I had heard them._

_I run for the front door and throw it open. I don’t know where I’m going, and I don’t care. Just as far away from the pair of them as I can get._

******

Nicholas ran down the stairs of the apartment building to the ground floor. He could hear Judy’s cries at him to come back, but he did not pay attention to them. Throwing the doors of the building open as he reached them, he ran across the road. Cars screeched to a halt as he cut across in front of them. One or two of the drivers had things to say, but Nicholas barely heard them. He didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, his only concern was that he kept running.

Eventually, his legs started to tire, and he found himself slowing down.

******

_I think I’m somewhere in Savanna Central, southwest to the City Centre. The area is kind of a dump. There’s this disused shop on the street. The sign above it is faded, the paint peeling, so all I can see is ‘And Son’s – Suits For’. The windows are boarded up, so I can’t see inside, but the door’s lock appears to have rusted away._

_It’s easy enough to get inside it, and surely nobody can look for me here. As I open the door, a bell above it rings._

_Inside, it looks like some sort of tailor’s shop. There are mannequins of all sizes, though the suits they wear are dusty and moth-bitten. There are cobwebs all over the place._

_My anger starts to boil over. Seeing a fox-sized mannequin, I swing for it, knocking it to the ground. Then there’s a rabbit-sized one. A kick puts it on the floor right next to the other one._

_I’m shaking. Tears fall from my eyes. Even doing that, I feel no better._

_The coward._

_The liar._

_I hate them! I hate them both!_

_Something falls from the counter and lands right between the mannequins. It’s a leaflet. My eye catches it: it’s riddled with moisture marks, but I can read what the faded text says._

_‘Wilde And Son’s Suit-topia: suits for all mammals, all occasions.’_

_I reach for the leaflet and stare at the top._

_‘Wilde And Son’s.’_

_I feel my gut clench and I tear the leaflet in two._

_My chest hurts. My heart feels fit to burst in pain, my lungs feel like they’re drawing in fire. I collapse to my knees._

_My ear twitches as I hear a radio outside._

******

“This is Officer Delgato on Jackalberry Avenue responding to a reported break-in at a disused tailor’s business premises.” Delgato spoke into his radio, “Suspect is described as a short-eared hare with light brown fur.”

“ _Ten-four._ ” Clawhauser replied.

Delgato put the radio back in his belt and stepped up to the door. He pushed the door open and was met with the sight of Nicholas crouched on the floor.

“Oh, it’s you.” Delgato sighed, “Your mother is going to go spare at this rate.”

“Go away.” Nicholas remarked.

“Can’t do that.” Delgato said, “I have to take you in. Trespass is still a crime. Up to this point, you’ve evaded being arrested because you’ve not technically broken any laws, but…”

“I said GO AWAY!” Nicholas shouted.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Delgato said, reaching for his belt. Nicholas shot to his feet as if prepared to fight the lion. Delgato raised an eyebrow curiously.

There was the sound of screeching tyres from outside. Delgato growled to himself. The door to the shop opened not long after, the bell tinkling as a black-furred fox stepped inside.

“I hope there isn’t a problem here, Officer.”

******

_I feel my ears prick upright and my fur bristle. My hackles raise._

_It’s him._

_I get up. Fist clenched, I fly at him to strike him._

_The cop, who clearly doesn’t expect this, grabs hold of me by the scruff of my shirt. Tells me not to be an idiot, because he’d hate to add assault and battery on top of the trespass charge. I struggle against his grip, but it’s no use, so I stop trying, and the cop drops me and turns to the interloper._

******

“Excuse me, sir. This is police business.” Delgato told Nick, unaware of who he was speaking to.

“Of course it is.” Nick replied, “I know you’re just doing your job and everything, but if I remember correctly, illegal trespass is entering a property without the owner’s permission.”

“Are _you_ the owner?” Delgato asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Nick simply let off a chuckle.

“You’re worse than your Chief.” Nick said, “You’d fail at a line-up, Maney. Is my black-dyed fur that much of a disguise? Really? Okay, I’ll make it a little easier for you. Do you know who the legal registered owner of this property is?”

“I can get those records.” Delgato said, “Down at the station. Now kindly step outside and let me do my job before I arrest you too.”

“Sure thing, Maney, but let me spare you the trouble of having to fill out the paperwork after releasing both him and me.” Nick said, “This place was owned by a Jonathan Wilde, many years ago. Probably about forty-five years ago, up until he absconded, leaving nothing to his wife and child. He didn’t last long on his own, because he was killed. Turns out he had massive debts and his creditor ran out of patience. He never changed his will, and in his will, he gave this property to his son, who didn’t even want the property or anything to do with it. Of course, the creditor was absorbed by a certain Tundratown crime boss, but that’s a whole other story. To this day, this property belongs to him. That is to say, this place is mine.”

It took a moment for Delgato to realise what Nick was saying.

“… Wilde?” Delgato blinked.

“The one and only.” Nick said, “Only these days, it’s ‘Hood’, not ‘Wilde’.”

“Nick Wilde… Son of a…” Delgato shook his head, not quite believing it. He picked his radio off his belt.

“Dispatch, can you look up an address and see the registered owner?” Delgato asked.

“ _Sure._ ” Came the reply, “ _This the address you’re at now?_ ”

“Yes.” Delgato confirmed, “421 Jackalberry Avenue.”

There was a long pause. During that time, Nicholas glared at Nick.

“ _Dispatch to Officer Delgato, got that info you wanted._ ” Clawhauser’s voice came back.

“And?”

“ _Well, I’ll be a cream-stuffed doughnut… that place belongs to one Nicholas Piberius Wilde._ ” Clawhauser remarked, “ _What a coincidence!_ ”

“10-4.” Delgato replied, before turning back to Nick, “Well, this does change things a little. You want to press charges?”

“… that would imply I never gave him permission to be here.” Nick said, “And surely you’d be aware of whom I’d be pressing charges against if I did?”

Delgato sighed.

“Well, I guess I’ll just go and fill out the paperwork, then.” Delgato said as he filed out of the shop.

“You do that.” Nick said, watching Delgato go outside and return to his cruiser.

“Delgato to dispatch, 10-40 on the break-in. Returning to station.”

“ _10-4. Hurry back!_ ” Came the reply from his radio.

Once Delgato drove off, Nick turned back to Nicholas.

“Still more muscle than mind, that one.” Nick shook his head, chuckling softly. Further words were cut off, however, when Nicholas carried through on his earlier attempt, landing a punch squarely in Nick’s cheek. Nick fell to the ground.

“Okay, I deserved that.” Nick said, feeling his cheek.

“… how did you find me?” Nicholas demanded, standing over Nick.

“Police scanner.” Nick replied matter-of-factly as he got to his feet, “My old running buddy, Finnick – the fennec who gave us a ride to your mother’s place – has one. Me and him used to use it to help in hustles we would pull in the days I was a simple street hustler. Even has a built-in jammer, though I’m not sure it still works.”

Nick got to his feet, brushing some of the dust off of his suit.

“Look, kid.” Nick said, “I understand how you must be feeling.”

“No, you don’t!” Nicholas bellowed, “Mom tells me the same thing! Nobody knows, because there are no others like me!”

“Exactly.” Nick stepped forward, “You’re unique. Special. A miracle, if ever I believed in them. That doesn’t mean I don’t know that you’re confused about your place in the world.”

“I…” Nicholas prepared to argue back, but stopped when he registered exactly what Nick said.

“As for your mother, she was scared of what would happen if she carried you to full term.” Nick said, “There’s no further explanation. Terrified, now that I think back on it. I wish I had been more reasonable at the time, but all I could think of was how she had gone behind my back.”

Nick’s ears lowered a little, shamed at the thought of what happened.

“She still sought one.” Nicholas snarled, “She still wanted me gone.”

“Okay, then answer me this.” Nick said, “If your mother _really_ didn’t want you, why, after the abortion didn’t happen and she decided to carry on with the pregnancy, did she not just give you up at birth, if you meant that little to her?”

Nicholas stayed silent.

“Do you know how frantic your mother was after you ran out?” Nick asked, “She thought you’d do something stupid, like stepping in front of a train, or jumping into the river. I have to say, I thought the same thing.”

“So why is she not here?” Nicholas demanded, “She busy getting the grunts to do her work for her?”

“She’s probably on her way here right now.” Nick shrugged, “We split up to find you. Fin wasn’t far off, and we searched this part of the district. We heard Delgato’s message on the scanner and came straight here.”

Nick sighed.

“I’m truly sorry you had to hear what happened in the way you did, especially when you weren’t ready to.” Nick said, “The truth is, had you decided to stay in the room, our talk might have turned out differently. It’s not that you shouldn’t know the truth, but you should hear it when you were ready for it. I know what it’s like to want, no, _crave_ acceptance, to be a part of something. I don’t know if your mother ever told you the story of what happened to me when I was nine.”

******

_He talks. He tells me that when he was nine, he wanted to belong to a pack, so he joined the Junior Ranger Scouts. But the pack in question distrusted foxes and so muzzled him. From that day, he decided that if the world was only ever going to see a fox as untrustworthy, then there was no point being anything else._

_He said that the thought kept him isolated in the dark for the longest time, until Mom came and shone a light._

_If she shone a light on his dark existence, why did he leave?_

_He said that he left because he needed space, and while he was in Mexicat, he decided ultimately that he could not return, that there was too much hurt here._

_Oh, that’s_ so _much better. It just makes me want to hit him again._

******

“I’m not my father. If I had known that your mother did not go through with the abortion, that she had you, I would have come back in a heartbeat.” Nick said, “I would very much have liked to have been a part of your life these past fourteen years.”

“Right… and you’d have done what with your mate and son?” Nicholas asked.

“I would have brought them with me.” Nick said, “It wouldn’t be all that difficult: both me and Anabel came from Zootopia.”

“And what would you have done about Mom?” Nicholas asked.

“I…” Nick began, before stopping to think, “I don’t know. Maybe the same thing I did today. Maybe not. It’s no use trying to guess what might have been.”

Both Nick and Nicholas twitched their ears to the sound of a car pulling up outside, the tyres screeching against the asphalt.

“I’d say that’s your mother.” Nick said, “Sounds like her driving hasn’t improved much.”

“How can you joke in this situation?” Nicholas asked.

“It’s just a part of how I deal with what I’m feeling.” Nick shrugged. He turned back to Nicholas.

“Listen, kid.” Nick said, “You’re in an emotional state. Just don’t give your mother a hard time over this. She regrets the mistakes of the past quite deeply. I’d say that’s her Achilles’ Heel. Just know you aren’t one of those mistakes.”

The door burst open again, and Judy ran inside. Nicholas froze in place as she launched at him, gripping him even tighter than she did earlier. She said no words, but Nicholas could feel the tears soaking his vest. She glanced at Nick, who simply raised his paws.

******

_He goes away after that, saying that he had to get home to see to his mother. Mom fusses over me. She tells me that she was going to tell me the truth when I was older and less conflicted. I still resent her for what she wanted to do, but I understand a little bit of her position. I’m less inclined to forgive Nick Wilde at this moment for running off._

_She brings me home. Wordlessly, I go into my bedroom, and do not come back out for the rest of the day, aside from dinner, which I eat in silence and then return to my room afterward._

_I hoped that whatever fate had for me, it would relent on the negative for a while._

_Fate clearly had other ideas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve read this over and over these past three days, I’ve made adjustments and changes to dialogue and some of the monologues. I’ve gone as far as I think I can without help. If anybody wants to help by beta-reading and feeding back for future chapters, I’d be delighted.
> 
> The punch Nicholas delivered was inspired by a chapter of the Neon Genesis Evangelion manga, in which Shinji attempts to punch his dad (who is an actual unlikeable monster).
> 
> The introduction of Wilde And Son’s serves a purpose to the story in general, not just this chapter, though I was originally going to have Nicholas run all the way to what I term the Warehouse District, which is where Judy finds Nick in the second half of the film. When I realised that this would be quite a journey for him to take, I changed the location.
> 
> Updates will not be as frequent from here-on out, mainly because this isn’t my only project but also because I have exams coming up, but I do hope to do one chapter a week. I have mapped out the story to its end, and I’m estimating that it will end after chapter 10, so it’s not a huge story. I haven’t yet decided whether I want to take it going forward yet, though.
> 
> I’ve avoided doing direct review responses in this story so far, but at this point, I want to respond to some of them. I have this story up AO3 as well, so these will basically be pooled together. These will only be for chapter 5, as including all of them so far would take up a lot more room than the chapter itself might.
> 
> Brunix and Diks (FF): When I was rewriting the chapter, I at first thought of having a more restrained confrontation than ‘Version 1’. Then I remembered the scene in the movie where, despite Judy having openly displayed her inherent prejudice against foxes, and despite it appearing to Nick at first when they meet after three months that Judy is just thinking of fixing her career, Nick still manages to find it in himself to forgive her, even after attempting to blow her off by walking away. That only happens because of Judy apologising to him for hurting him. That’s the angle I was going for here: Nick just doesn’t have it in himself to hate Judy for long. On top of that, some of the other reviewers were right: while this is already in OOC territory, having that took it way too far outside the boundaries. Another reason I did it this way is because when rewriting the chapters I had to consider what theme I wanted to write to. Borba’s ‘I Will Survive’ is about the idea that nothing lasts forever, but as my story takes place years after the event that drives the story, I decided when I mapped out where I would go from the new versions that the story would be based on the theme of ‘time heals all wounds’. Having them fight seemed counterproductive to that.
> 
> Popopoyotl (AO3): It’s pretty much the angle I was going for. In the backstory I’ve written, Nick decided to get out of Zootopia at first to avoid confronting Judy while he was still hurting. He didn’t know how long he’d be gone for, if indeed he did decide he would return, but days turned to weeks, and those turned to months, and in the end he decided not to return at all. I had a further response with regards to Nick and Judy’s relationship but I can’t actually spoil where I’m taking this story.
> 
> MetalFox2013 and GhostWolf88 (FF): Thank you.
> 
> GameOnNYPD: Judy did apologise. There’s a whole section in the last chapter where she breaks down and apologises for everything. It’s kind of the release of the chapter, them both admitting to each other they did wrong in the past and together they decide that, despite the fact it will take a lot of work, they can work through it. I personally agree with what some reviewers have said in that Judy committed the greater wrong in going behind Nick’s back and then hitting him when he said those hurtful things, but the intention was that Judy was always going to apologise. I just moved it to this earlier point in ‘Version 2’.
> 
> I am Groot (FF): There’s no set schedule to when I upload a new chapter. The first chapters were all written and posted within days of each other, which is crazy even for me, but as of this one, I’ve deliberately slowed it down a bit to take time to get what I want to do as right as I can.


	7. Never Meet Again

** Never Meet Again **

(From the point of view of Judy)

_It’s been three days since Nick and I met for the first time in fifteen years. Despite… everything… we’ve agreed to take things one day at a time._

_I’ll be honest: I still love Nick. For a while, I confused my feelings for hating him after he walked out on me, but I realise now that I missed him greatly._

_What does how I feel about him matter now? We’ve damaged each other in ways that will be difficult to move past. That’s why Nick said that it was too late for us as a couple. I would be lying if I denied that, in spite of his agreement, I’m terrified of what might come. I don’t want to think that we might not even be able to stay friends, even if there is too much that has happened to both of us to be together as a couple._

_But we have to try. I owe it to him to try and put things right between us, and I think he feels the same way from his own perspective that he has to try too._

_I should not have behaved the way I did. I know this. I know what I did was wrong, so very wrong. I was terrified of what was going to happen with a Cross child. I acted rashly and while I thought I was sparing Nick by not telling him, he clearly felt differently, and I failed to realise that in my panicked stupor. When Nick confronted me, first I felt a great upset at what he was saying to me, but an irrational feeling of panic became an irrational surge of anger. It doesn’t justify my gross overreaction, not even close. Nick knows he was wrong to say what he said, but I know I’m in the wrong even more for keeping him in the dark and for what I did in response to him._

_It made the press conference incident seem like a minor speed bump by comparison. Up until that point, I thought I couldn’t have ever felt any lower. I can only ever hope Nick accepts my apologies, but I think that I could apologise for the rest of my life, and I don’t feel it would ever be enough._

_Believe me, I didn’t hear the end of it for months after Nick left. You thought Clawhauser’s words were rough? My family couldn’t have been more disappointed in me. You have no idea how ashamed I felt after talking to Mom. She didn’t say anything mean, just true. She told me that me and Nick should have discussed kits much, much sooner, that if I was uncomfortable coming to Nick about this then I should have come to her, that I should never have lost my temper with him no matter how panicked I was, and that I should have tried harder to talk to Nick and apologise before he left. And she was right. What I did was completely out of character._

_After Nicholas was born, I suffered with post-natal depression. Let me make this clear, though: I never attempted to harm Nicholas. The thought never crossed my mind to do him harm, even though, at first, I had trouble bonding with him. I became withdrawn and moody. Obsessive at times and morose almost all the time. More than once Bogo had to reprimand me for slacking, or for becoming too involved. Sometimes I would try and find Nick and… I don’t know what would have happened had I actually found him. Yell at him? Break down in front of him? Not even try?_

_I was placed on leave for two months after Bogo had me submitted for psych evaluation. Mom came over to Zootopia and stayed in my apartment to help me, and we got through it, eventually. I considered leaving the ZPD at the time and returning to the farm, but Mom talked me out of it._

_When I returned to the ZPD, Bogo had me put on lesser shifts. Mostly desk-work. At first, I was frustrated, but looking back I know why he did it. He didn’t want me to break completely. He told me a few months down the line that had he let me return to full duty, I would likely have had a complete breakdown and would have wound up no use to anybody, not even to myself, and certainly not to Nicholas, but if recent events have made me realise something, it’s that I’ve been trying too hard, like I had been before. No ‘off’ button. And that was no way to try and raise a child, much less one as unique as Nicholas. So, I’m quite frankly amazed that Bogo put me forward for promotion around the time of Nicholas’ sixth birthday. And in trying to fill the void within me, I took that promotion eagerly. I got through the ranks to Major, Colonel and Inspector. Deputy Chief was between me, Inspector Grizzoli and Inspector Higgins. Grizzoli got it, and soon was promoted to Chief at Precinct 3 in Tundratown. Higgins turned down the promotion, saying that it would mean more time from his family. When Bogo came to me, I was going to turn it down as well, but he told me that Precinct One needed a new Chief as he would be moving to the role of Commissioner within the next few years. In reluctance, I agreed, but it was awful: I had to do the same hours as Bogo, which meant less time for Nicholas. I would sometimes come home late and start early the next morning._

_If it wasn’t for Fru-Fru, who saw Nicholas as like a second child to her, I would have quit. Gone back to Bunnyburrow and become a carrot farmer, just so I could have more time with Nicholas. Fru-Fru convinced me that it would all work out in the end._

_In my attempt to continue on, I forgot what my original goal was._

_I forgot that the whole point was to make the world a better place._

******

_The world, alas, has not become a better place. Not for those I care about._

_I’m an awful mother. I’ve tried my best with Nicholas, but the job of Chief demands long hours, meaning I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him. Some days, I seriously contemplate quitting. As for Nick, at the moment, Nicholas won’t even talk to him. I take him around to Viola’s apartment, and I get to see first-hand just how bad she has become in the last few weeks. She can’t even remember my name properly, has never heard of the Night Howler conspiracy, and sometimes mistakenly calls Nick ‘John’, and Robin ‘Nick’._

_Robin seems like a nice kit. He’s a little shy around other mammals, though he seems okay with Nicholas. At least, Nicholas tolerates him. It’s odd to think that the two are half-brothers._

_Whatever mess is between me and Nick, those two are innocent in all of this, and we’ve both agreed to keep them out of it as much as we can._

_Nick and I have talked a little bit. He tells me that he started a company that deals with amusement parks. That tallies with what I knew of him all those years ago: he once told me that the money he was saving up from his hustles was intended to go towards opening a theme park in Zootopia called Wild Times, but that was before I caught him out at the start of my career._

_Me, well… I told Nick some of the truth, but not all of it: that I stayed at the rank of Lieutenant for some time after he left, even though I was short-listed for promotion at the time. At the start of it all, I went from some days where I couldn’t muster the strength to try, to trying way too hard. Bogo noticed: he noticed everything about his officers. I didn’t make Captain for a good six years after Nick left._

_It was a year ago that I was made Chief of Precinct One, and it wasn’t something that I chose to do overnight. I knew what I was taking on, and I had many discussions with my family. Mom was cautiously supportive. Dad was just cautious. My brothers and sisters were mixed. Some said to go for it. Others said it was my choice. Others still said it would be best for me to return home with Nicholas._

_I’m worried in telling Nick all of this: perhaps he’ll change his mind and accuse me of putting my career ahead of Nicholas, like he did fifteen years ago. But he doesn’t. He just nods and says that he buried himself in work sometimes as well. Hearing that doesn’t make me feel better._

_There’s still a friction between me and Nicholas. He’s avoided saying much of anything to me since running off, and has actively avoided being in the same room as me at times. Nick says that he just needs time to take on board everything that has happened._

_All I can do is wait for Nicholas to open up, and to tell him that, no matter what happens, he’s still my son and I love him._

******

_I’m stirred from my sleep by the tone of ‘Hope Is Eternal’. Reaching out to the bedside table, I take hold of my phone as I suppress a large yawn. I see the time is 5:00._

_My alarm doesn’t go off for another thirty minutes._

_I sit up in the bed and realise that I’m receiving a phone call. The caller ID reads ‘Nick’._

_I answer it._

******

“Nick…” Judy yawned, “It’s too early to call…”

“ _She’s gone._ ” Nick cut across Judy. Judy rubbed her eyes, Nick’s words not registering in her mind for a moment.

“ _Carrots?_ ” Nick’s voice sounded choked.

“Who’s gone?” Judy asked dazedly.

“ _Mom… she’s…_ ” Nick said, “ _She went in the night._ ”

Judy suddenly felt very awake.

“ _A doctor came out half an hour ago… I went in to check on her and…_ ” Nick said, stopping himself.

“Oh… Oh, Nick…” Judy said, a tear forming in her eye, “I’m so sorry…”

******

_Nick tells me that she fell asleep in her bed, and when Nick went to check in on her, he could tell straight away something was wrong. He investigated, and when he tried to get her to wake up, he realised she was not breathing. She was cold._

_Viola Wilde was gone._

_I ask if he wants me to come around. He tells me that I don’t have to._

_Of course I have to. There will be a lot to do, things to sort through and I don’t want Nick to be alone when he does it. I tell him that much._

_As soon as the call ends, I go to the bedroom next to mine, which is Nicholas’ room. He’s asleep. I open the door gently and approach his bed._

_I call his name. He doesn’t stir._

_I say it again. He grumbles, something about being left alone._

_I tell him it’s important. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. I tell him that Grandma Wilde passed peacefully in her sleep._

_His ears would have fallen had they been standing up. His eyes widen, and I can see the little colour in his ears draining._

_All I can do to comfort him is to hug him. He’s too shocked to do anything._

_I tell him that I’m heading over to Grandma Wilde’s place. I leave him alone so he can get changed, but I can hear him crying. It’s driving a knife through my heart to hear it._

******

The drive didn’t take long in the early morning traffic. When Judy pulled up, she could see Finnick’s van already outside. She and Nicholas got out of the car and walked up to the front porch of Viola’s apartment. She pressed the door bell and waited. It wasn’t long before the door opened, and there stood Nick.

The black dye was gone from his fur, replaced with the russet Judy knew so well, though its colour had started to fade around his muzzle with age. He wore a simple white vest and slacks, and it looked like he hadn’t slept properly, as Judy could see bags under his eyes, his fur damp underneath them.

“I said there wasn’t a need for you to come.” Nick said grimly.

“We’re friends.” Judy said, “There’s _every_ need for me to be here. And she was Nicholas’ grandmother too.”

******

_I’ve haven’t seen Nick cry in a long time. The last time he did it was fifteen years ago._

_He would always tell me, whenever I was upset, or angry: ‘No matter what, Carrots. Never let them see that they get to you.’_

_I feel so helpless watching him break down. He doesn’t say anything. There are no words for the pain he’s in._

_I step forward, but hesitate. I want to comfort him, but given everything that has happened, is it right for me to do so?_

_Watching this is breaking my heart. I decide ‘appropriate’ can go to hell and pull him into a hug. He seems surprised as he tenses up – in exactly the same way Nicholas does – but he loosens and breaks down in my arms._

_And then I start crying silently as well._

_Finnick steps out of the kitchen and tells Nick to let me in._

******

Nick bade Judy and Nicholas inside and went to the kitchen to fetch refreshments. Robin followed him, still displaying awkwardness around Judy by stealing glances at her then quickly looking away as he fidgeted nervously.

Nick returned to the living room with a caroffee, which he gave to Judy, and he set a glass of water down on the table in front of Nicholas, before sitting down in one of the armchairs.

“This might come across a little insensitive, but…” Judy began, “Have you thought about her funeral yet?”

Nick said nothing.

“Do you know if she had a will?” Judy asked.

“She does.” Nick said, “I’m the executor.”

“Did she say how she would like to be…?” Judy began.

“She always talked about being buried with my father.” Nick replied.

Another moment of silence between the two.

“Nick, if there’s anything I can do…” Judy began.

Nick didn’t answer straight away.

“You can console our son.” Nick replied. Judy’s eyes widened in surprise at the response.

******

_That is the first time I have heard Nick refer to Nicholas as ‘ours’, and not ‘mine’. But he is right._

_Nicholas is sat there, looking lost. Robin is sat next to him, glancing occasionally in his direction. And Finnick comes into the room, sitting on a stool and crossing his arms and glaring at me pointedly, as if to suggest that if he had his trusty baseball bat within reach, he’d be tempted to use it._

_I get up and sit next to Nicholas. He doesn’t look up. His face is strained, like he’s trying not to cry again. My paw reaches for his shoulder, and suddenly I can see a tear fall._

_Nick is watching this, as though he has no right to do so._

_I indicate for Nick to come over to us. He seems a little taken aback by the gesture, but a raised eyebrow and a head jerk from Finnick is all it takes for him to get up and come over. He sits next to Robin, still looking unsure. Robin leans into him, and tells him it’s going to be okay. Nick looks at Nicholas with uncertainty and tentatively reaches out to him. His paw touches Nicholas’ shoulder. I feel Nicholas stiffen but he says nothing and does nothing to throw Nick’s paw off._

_I look to Nicholas and Nick. Silent tears are falling from both of them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I occasionally have trouble with ‘turning points’ in stories, and this one is no exception. I've given it my best shot though.
> 
> I’ve had a bit of a break from this while I finish off my academic year. Glad to say that it’s over now. So, I plan on getting back to my stories, this one included. Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment though because I have another story in the pipelines, and it’s another that splits Nick and Judy apart (though under completely different circumstances, and not through their actions this time). I’m not going to spoil the outcome of that one, because I’m currently in brainstorming for it, but I do already have a title for it. Look out for “Collector” in the near future. Also, I’m breaking “Aftermath” up into multiple stories, which will be fun once I get to it. I was told that there was nothing novel with the setup I had. Well, I think I’ve found something novel that I can work with.
> 
> The ending of this one’s a bit abrupt, but I could think of no better way to end it. The next chapter will be fairly mundane stuff, to be honest. If there’s one thing I don’t like writing, it’s mundane stuff. But it’s necessary mundane stuff, so write it I shall. Until next time!


	8. Chapter 8

** Passing **

(From the point of view of Robin)

_I’m not… the most talkative kid. Always was quiet, always had problems making friends, despite Mom and Dad trying to encourage me not to be so solitary like our species’ stereotypes. Dad says that maybe it got worse after Mom died. I don’t really go out and meet many kids my own age because I don’t go to a school. Mom and Dad paid for me to be home-schooled._

_Then there’s everything that’s happened in the past week…_

_Before this week, I had never met Grandma in person. I’ve talked with her over Muzzletime a bit, though, and she seems nice enough. She never came out to visit us, though Dad offered to pay for her to come out. She would often say that she couldn’t ask Dad to pay for her to visit, but always said that she hoped one day he could visit her. Dad always said he was busy, so wasn’t able to come out to here. She would always send birthday cards to me and Dad, and letters. Knowing that she’s dying… it hurts. It’s different to Mom because I never got to say goodbye to Mom, but it still hurts._

_I know Dad used to love someone else before he met Mom, and he always told me that it didn’t matter who I loved, even if they were different species. But I never thought Dad loved a bunny once. He never said._

_Then there’s the other boy. Nicholas. The same name as Dad. The one who is… well, odd. He’s neither fox nor bunny, despite Dad being his Dad too, and his Mom being a bunny._

_He looks angry and sad. But he’s not bad. I think._

_His Mom… she’s sad too. Dad tells me she’s had a bit of a hard time trying to raise a child alone, but she seems… lost._

******

Robin opened his eyes. He could hear padding in the hallway outside his room. He glanced at the bedside clock, which read 4:25.

Robin yawned. It was far too early to be awake, even if his Dad did make him go to bed early the previous night.

He could hear the creaking of the door across the landing. Behind that door was the room of Viola, his grandmother.

Robin shut his eyes, trying to get back to sleep.

It didn’t last. Robin’s ear twitched as he heard what sounded like a snuffling sound. Opening his eyes and rubbing them, he tentatively got out of bed. Pushing the door open slightly, Robin peered out.

He could see the door across from the landing open. And that strange snuffling sound reached his ears again.

Robin pushed the door open further and crept towards the room opposite. As he got closer, he saw his Dad, on his knees by the bed Viola Wilde was sleeping in. Viola’s face looked peaceful. Nick, on the other hand, had his head bowed, and his paws were clasped around one of Viola’s.’

“Dad?” Robin called out tentatively. Nick didn’t answer directly, instead letting out something that sounded like a choked sob.

“Dad!” Robin repeated.

Nick turned to look to Robin. Robin could see tear stains down Nick’s muzzle.

“Son…” Nick said finally, “Call an ambulance.”

******

_And just like that, she was gone._

_I’m a little upset. Not as much as I was with Mom, but Dad is very upset. I’ve seen him cry when Mom died, but I didn’t think he’d be crying again this soon. Is it bad that I’m more upset that Dad is upset? It’s like losing a pen friend: it hurts… but I hurt a lot more when Mom died._

_I do what Dad tells me, go into my room and take my phone, dialling for the ambulance. They ask what I’m after, and I tell them that my grandma isn’t waking up. They ask for where we are and then tell me that there will be an ambulance here shortly._

_The ambulance arrives, as does a doctor, a wolf, within minutes. I let them in and they go straight to Grandma’s room, where Dad is still kneeling, clutching Grandma’s paw._

_When the doctor comes into the room, he asks Dad to step aside so he can work. The doctor checks Grandma over._

******

“Time of death is within the last two hours. Time is now 4:56 AM, which I will be declaring as time of death for the records.” The doctor said sombrely, “I’m sorry, Mr. Wilde.”

Nick felt so numb he didn’t bother to contradict the doctor on his name.

******

_Dad watches as the doctor orders the paramedics to take Grandma’s body away. It takes a while, but once they’re gone, the doctor talks to Dad some more._

_Once the doctor leaves, Dad heads into the living room. The first one he calls is his old friend, the fennec guy. He comes over quickly. Then Dad calls Miss Rabbit. Tells her that Grandma is gone, and that she doesn’t have to come over. But I can tell: Dad wants her over here._

_She’s here in about half an hour after Dad made the call. Dad tells her, half-heartedly but grimly, that she didn’t need to come. She replies that, of course she did. They’re friends, and Nicholas was her Grandson too._

_Dad starts crying again. I’m about to get up and hug him, but Miss Rabbit gets there first. Dad’s friend, who is in the kitchen, tells him to let her in and he does, guiding her and Nicholas into the living room._

_There’s talk between the two. I sit beside Nicholas but give him some space. He’s sad too. He’s been crying, I can see the tear tracks in his fur._

_Miss Bunny is not really focusing on him right now though. She’s talking with Dad. I look at Nicholas again, who has been silent all this time, though taking glances at his Mom. I feel sorry for him, but there’s nothing I can do._

_Then Dad tells Miss Rabbit to console their son._

_That’s the first time I’ve ever heard Dad call Nicholas ‘his son’._

_I’m not afraid of Nicholas or anything, and I don’t hate him, but… I’ve only just met him. We haven’t really spoken. He’s been as quiet as I am whenever I’ve seen him. I don’t really see him as my brother yet._

_Miss Bunny does her best to make Nicholas feel better, but then she waves Dad over. I shift in my seat slightly, and Dad sits between us, not sure if he should even be there._

_I lean into Dad, hoping that he takes comfort from me, and as I look at Dad I tell him: it’s going to be okay._

_Dad reaches out tentatively towards Nicholas’ shoulder, still unsure if he should, but then his paw reaches and he takes hold. Nicholas goes a bit stiff but doesn’t say or do anything to throw Dad’s paw off of him._

_Dad’s other arm takes hold of me and pulls me close to him._

_I can see Dad crying again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fairly short chapter, told from Robin’s POV. It’s also a fairly short chapter that offers a different perspective on the events of the previous chapter.
> 
> Originally, this chapter was cut content, and Letters And Wills was the eighth chapter, but in light of revisiting the story for some tidy-up, I decided to reinsert this chapter into the story. It also means that, finally, Robin and Nicholas have equal chapter weight in this story. So, you can safely not have to re-read the next chapters, as little will have changed for those chapters at all.
> 
> At this point, I feel the need to point out that any reviews that were made prior to this update are for the old order, so where you might see “Chapter 8”, the review actually applies to Chapter 9.
> 
> With this chapter, the turning point has concluded. From here we start moving forward.


	9. Letters And Wills

** Letters and Wills **

(From the point of view of Nick)

_The day after Mom died, I knew I had to get on with sorting out her affairs. That meant finding her solicitor and informing them of her death. The trouble was, I did not know who her solicitor was. I assumed she had a will, but I would have to find out who she made it with._

_Steeling myself, I enter her bedroom. For a while, I stare at her empty bed, where I had found her yesterday. Grief threatens to overwhelm me again. I barely manage to clamp down on it. I have work to do here._

_So I carefully start going through the room._

_A memory returns to me. There’s a small cabinet in the room, right by the bed. Looks ordinary enough, but I remember as a child, Mom would confiscate my favourite toy if I misbehaved and place it in a compartment inside the cabinet. I always knew that compartment was there, and it didn’t have a lock, but I never could get one over on Mom and get my toy back._

_I open the cabinet, crouching down. Sure enough, the compartment is still there. I hesitate in reaching for it, the fleeting memory of being caught out coming to me and threatening to overwhelm me in grief that Mom will never be able to do that again. Swallowing the feeling, I open the compartment._

_Inside is an envelope. I reach out and pick it up._

_The name on the envelope reads ‘To my son, Nicholas’._

_Staring at the envelope, I sit on the edge of the bed. I’m hesitant in opening it. I stare at the handwriting for a while._

_I realise that I want to open this envelope very badly, but at the same time I don’t want to open it at all._

_My paws shake a little as my grief once again threatens to take over._

_Taking a deep breath to help me steel myself, I reach a claw to carefully open the envelope._

_Inside was a folded piece of paper. I pulled it out. Taking another breath, I opened the paper up and started to read it._

******

_‘Dear Nicholas,_

_If you are reading this letter, it means that I’m no longer with you. I’ll be wherever John is, and I’ll be in a much better place.  
_

_If, by the time you receive this letter, you haven’t come back to Zootopia, then I hope you come back at least for my funeral. You will inevitably run into your old mate, Judy Hopps, there, and she is there for as good a reason as you. She has a son. There’s no long-winded way of easing you into this fact. The boy is yours. After you broke up with her, she could not go through the termination and instead chose to give birth to him. He’s a lot like how you were at his age, though he has the added stigma of being a fox-rabbit hybrid. I’ve tried to tell him what I know about you, but as it was likely to get back to his mother, and you didn’t want her to know where you are, all I could really do is try to tell him that he had got you wrong. I haven’t told you this before, because the responsibility to do so falls squarely on Judy’s shoulders. By the time you read this letter, however, it will be too late. I don’t want you to be shocked or surprised when you come to my funeral._

_If you’re reading this and you have already returned to Zootopia to say your goodbyes to me, you will probably have already encountered Nicholas, and are probably already aware of his origins. I’m sorry I never told you, and I really hope that I got to tell you that much, if the cancer didn’t eat that far into my memory.  
_

_I hope that, at the very least, I got to meet Robin in person. He’s always been a sweet child in our Muzzletime calls and letters, but I’d like him to get to know his half-brother too._

_If you have found this letter, you will be trying to find my solicitor to inform them of my passing. I have a will, made out at the same time I wrote this letter, so you will need to attend a reading of it. My solicitor is an old acquaintance of ours. I know what you think of the Weaseltons after your run-ins with Duke all those years ago, but there was really no better solicitor than his father, Archie. He still operates out of his office in Happytown, so he’ll be easy to find. You will need to let Judy Hopps know, as the will concerns her and your first-born son as well._

_Lastly, know that I have always and will always love you. Even if I can’t quite understand the reasons you have lived your life as you have, you are my son and nothing will ever change that._

_I may be gone, but I’ll always be with you. Look for me in your heart.  
_

_Be safe. Be well. Be yourself.  
_

_Always your mother,_

_Viola Wilde.’_

******

Nick stared at the letter, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. There was something _final_ about reading the letter that made his Mom’s death all the more real to him.

He stared at the letter for a few moments, before his ears turned to the sound of padding behind him, and a scent came that Nick knew belonged to a certain fennec.

“You gonna sit there all day?” Finnick frowned.

“I didn’t hear you let yourself in.” Nick said, not turning around.

“What you found, Nick?” Finnick asked.

“It’s…” Nick began, “… personal.”

Finnick let out a breath through his nostrils. He walked around the bed and hopped onto it to sit beside Nick.

“Now you know I ain’t one to get sappy or anythin’.” Finnick said, “But she loved you. No matter how bone-headed you been these past fifteen years.”

“Tell it like it is, why don’t you.” Nick let out a small snort.

“I am.” Finnick said, “And it’s for your own good. I’d have had this chat with you long ago if I’d known Chew Toy kept the kid. Heck, I’da gone out to Mexicat myself and _dragged_ you back.”

“I didn’t know, and I thought it was for the best in the end.”

“You can’t see that you broken still?” Finnick asked, “Your ma, she desperately wanted to see you heal, but she always said that you were too far away for her to do anything. She turned down your offers to take her out there because she didn’t want your _money_ , she wanted _you back_. And I guess she never told me about the kid because she _knew_ I’da gone out there and dragged your sorry ass back here.”

Another chuckle.

“So, what was in the letter?” Finnick asked.

“Like I said, it’s personal.” Nick replied.

“Nick, you _know_ your ma was as good as my ma.” Finnick said, “We known each other since we were in our teens and no matter what hustles we used to do, your ma always welcomed me in to her home with you.”

Nick let out a sigh through his nostrils. Finnick lost his mother at a young age and was raised by relatives who treated him fairly distantly. Viola was the closest thing to a mother Finnick had, and Viola always rolled out the welcome mat to the fennec.

“How did you and Nicholas not cross paths?” Nick asked, “If you were both visiting my mother?”

“I’m gonna guess this here, but I’m guessing your ma told Chew Toy when I was around.” Finnick said, “Now, are you gonna tell me what’s got you cryin’, or am I gonna have to force it outta you?”

“You wouldn’t.” Nick chuckled.

“Okay, maybe not to a grieving son.” Finnick agreed, “But it’s got you upset. You broken still, like I said, Nick.”

Nick shook his head and passed the letter over to Finnick. Finnick read through it. His usually harsh face softened, and for a fleeting moment, Nick thought Finnick might actually cry too, something Nick had _never_ seen the steely fennec do.

“Be yourself, huh?” Finnick said, looking at the bottom of the page, “Good advice. You gonna take it?”

Nick didn’t reply, instead staring at the window in the bedroom.

******

_I did what the letter suggested: I phoned Weaselton and Co Solicitors and spoke to Archie Weaselton, the weasel who ran the company. Unlike his son, Archie’s quite well-spoken. I inform him of Mom’s… passing… and he agrees to meet with me later this afternoon. As soon as the call has ended, I dial the number for Carrots’ home. The phone wasn’t ringing for long._

******

“ _What?_ ” came the terse reply when the phone picked up. Nicholas had answered the call.

“Is Ca… your mother there?” Nick asked.

“ _No, she’s gone in to work._ ” Nicholas replied.

“… right.” Nick said, “Well, I’ll go down to the Precinct. There’s something we need to do this afternoon.”

“ _Fine._ ” Nicholas replied before hanging up.

******

_I think that’s the most Nicholas has said to me since our meeting in my Dad’s old shop._

_Anyway, I get ready to go to the Precinct. I dress in a smart outfit, a white shirt and black jacket and trousers, before heading out of the apartment. Finnick offers to come with me, but I ask him to stay with Robin in the apartment while I go to the Precinct. I call for a taxi passing through, and it’s not long before a sight I haven’t seen in fifteen years comes up on me._

_Precinct 1’s building hasn’t changed at all. I mean, surely they could have redecorated a bit in the fifteen years since I last saw it._

_I pay the taxi driver, get out and stride towards the doors. Heck, the revolving doors are the same._

_Stepping through them, I can see that the interior has had a bit of a repaint. I glance towards the front desk, greeted by another sight I was sure would have changed after all this time._

_Boy, Ben Clawhauser hasn’t changed much, has he? From here, I can see a little bit of greying around his muzzle, but he’s still a big cat, and he’s humming out a tune I recognise as Gazelle’s newest song, dancing in his seat, utterly oblivious to what’s going on around here._

_I walk towards the desk, Ben still clearly unaware that there’s a visitor. Once I get there, I knock on the wood of the desk._

_Ben stops dancing in his seat and stares up at me. For a moment, his face is locked in shock._

_Then, it happens._

******

“Oh Em Goodness!” Clawhauser squealed, “Nicholas Wilde! You’re back!”

Clawhauser launched himself across the desk and caught Nick in a tight embrace.

“Whiskers! Can’t breathe!” Nick gasped. Clawhauser let him go.

“Oh, have you missed a lot around here!” Clawhauser began, “I don’t know how much you know, but…”

“Trust me, Whiskers.” Nick said, as he straightened his tie and the collar of his jacket, “I know already.”

Clawhauser’s face fell slightly.

“Oh, I heard about your poor Mom.” Clawhauser said, “I’m so sorry, Nick.”

Nick’s only response was a slight grimace.

“What brings you to the Precinct today?” Clawhauser asked, noticing Nick’s expression and trying to change the subject.

“I need to talk to Car… I mean, the Chief.” Nick said.

“So you _do_ know already.” Clawhauser said, “How _much_ do you know?”

“All of it.” Nick replied.

“Ah.” Clawhauser said. He leaned forward a bit, “For what it’s worth, Nick, I fought your corner after you left.”

Nick half-smiled.

“Thanks, Whiskers.” Nick said, “I appreciate it.”

“As for Chief Hopps, she’s up in her office.” Clawhauser said, “I’ll call through.” Clawhauser picked up the phone, “Chief? I got Nick Wilde here to talk to you. Send him up? Okay.” Clawhauser hung the phone up, “You still know the way?”

“After the amount of scoldings Buffalo Butt had me up there for?” Nick raised an eyebrow, “Speaking of which, how is he doing?”

“Well, you can ask him yourself, because he’s up in the office with the Chief at the moment.”

Nick frowned at that. Nonetheless, he headed towards the stairs that would lead to the second landing. He turned to Clawhauser.

“Nice talking with you again, Whiskers.” Nick said.

“Come back soon, we all miss you!” Clawhauser called. He watched as Nick walked up the stairs.

Nick reached the door that previously housed Chief Bogo’s office. The door read ‘Chief Hopps’. He could hear voices in the room, so he knocked the door.

“Enter.” Came Judy’s voice. Nick opened the door.

The sight was the strangest thing Nick had ever seen. Bogo, who was dressed in a casual suit, was sat on what Nick viewed as the _wrong_ side of the desk. Judy was sat in the Chief’s chair.

“Wilde.” Bogo nodded.

“Bogo.” Nick nodded in return. Bogo looked at Judy.

“Well, I think we’ve said all that needs to be said.” Bogo got up, straightening his suit out, “If you’ll excuse me, I have some wheels that have to be set in motion.”

And with that, Bogo exited the office. Nick watched him go before turning his attention back to Judy, who sighed.

“Chin up, Chief.” Nick said, clambering into the chair Bogo had vacated.

“Not for much longer.” Judy said. Nick frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick asked. Judy responded by slipping Nick a letter on her desk.

******

_The letter Carrots passes me takes a very short amount of time to read._

_It’s a resignation letter. She’s stepping down and requesting demotion to Lieutenant._

_The same rank she held when I left._

_The letter also recommends Trisha Fangmeyer, one of the two Fangmeyer siblings, as her replacement._

_I ask her why she’s stepping down._

******

“I’m stepping down because it’s the right thing to do.” Judy said, “I’m not a good person, Nick.” Judy sighed wistfully, “Why did I go this far?”

“Hey, your goal was always to make the world a better place.” Nick said.

“And I’ve not been doing that. I can’t do that if I can’t even make our son’s world a better place.” Judy said, “I haven’t been making the world a better place since that day we… argued. I got lost. I operated on autopilot, going for promotion after promotion. I’m a horrible friend, a terrible mother, and I just can’t go on like this anymore. I have to fix this.”

Nick could see tears forming in Judy’s eyes.

“Hey, hey…” Nick reached out to Judy, gripping her shoulder, “You’re not a bad person, Judy.” Judy’s ears perked slightly at the use of her given name, but she shook her head in denial, “You’re _not_. Have you made some mistakes along the way? Well, yes, yes you have. But are you a bad person? No, no you are not. If you were truly a bad person, would you realise you had made mistakes? I don’t think so. Nobody bad can admit they were wrong. And if _you’re_ a bad person, what does that make me? I only came back to Zootopia in time to see my mother, or what was left of her, fade away. Had I come back sooner, I would have known the truth, and I’d have been here while Mom was still here.”

“I pushed you away!” Judy protested.

“I _walked_ away!” Nick retorted.

“Because of what I did!” Judy returned.

“Enough!” Nick shouted, “Enough of this!”

Judy stared at her desk, allowing tears to fall again.

“I didn’t come here to argue who was more in the wrong, Carrots.” Nick said.

“Why _are_ you here, Nick?”

Nick took a deep breath to steady himself before speaking.

“Mom’s will-reading is this afternoon.” Nick said, “You need to be there.”

******

_Carrots seems surprised. I tell her that I found a letter and that Mom specifically asked that she be there._

_The final words return to me._

_Be safe. Be well._

_Be yourself._

_Then Finnick’s words come back to me as well, about how I’m still broken after all this time. I guess he’s right. You can wallpaper over a crack but the crack is still there. Don’t get me wrong: I still love Anabel, and had she still been alive, things might be different now, but I think she knew I was still… damaged… from what happened. On more than one occasion, she actually tried to get me to change my name back. I told her I would think about it._

_There was another thing that occurred to me out of all of this._

_The only reason it hurt so much is because I loved Carrots. And if the old pain still came back, it wasn’t a mere echo._

_And it can only mean one thing._

_I still love Carrots._

_Don’t take any greater meaning from what I just said. I still love her, but there’s just too much having gone on between us for us to work together again like we had. Too much water under the bridge. However, I can’t see any justification to turn away friendship with her, especially since one way or another, we’re permanently connected through our son._

_I’m going off-track here. So I tell her about the letter, though not its contents._

_There wasn’t much more to say after this, so I leave Carrots to her devices after telling her the location of Weaselton and Co._

******

As Nick stepped out of the station, he could see Finnick’s van pulling up. Frowning slightly, Nick approached the van.

“What brings you here?” Nick asked.

“‘Motional support.” Finnick grunted. Nick chuckled, drawing a look of ire from the fennec.

“Don’t make me clobber the grievin’.” Finnick threatened, “Get in.”

Nick did as he was told, clambering into the passenger’s side of the van. Robin was sat in the back of the van.

“So…” Finnick began, as he pulled out, “You wanna say what took you so long in there? I begun to wonder if they nabbed you or somethin’.”

“No.” Nick shook his head, “Let’s just get out of here. I got an appointment with a weasel.”

Finnick snorted as he turned off towards Happytown.

******

_Ah, Happytown. How I never missed this place. Despite the name, nobody in Happytown is happy. Mom and Dad used to live here, long before they could pony up the dough to move to the Rainforest District. It’s the worst district in Zootopia. It’s practically a slum. I’m ashamed to admit that I had to live out here for a few years before I got that nice apartment in Savanna Central with Carrots._

_Weaselton and Co sits just a few blocks down from where Suit-Topia used to sit._

_I once again ask Finnick to take care of Robin while I go inside. He doesn’t look too pleased at having to play todsitter again, but I give Finnick enough money to get something to eat and he seems placated enough._

_As I walk in, once again, Mom’s words come back to me._

_Be yourself._

_Since I’m here, I might as well ask something that just crossed my mind._

******

Nick strode up to the receptionist, a vixen that Nick assumed was probably 18 or 19, most likely an intern.

“Excuse me, I have an appointment with Archie Weaselton. Name of Nicholas Hood.”

The vixen stared up at Nick, then began typing away at her computer.

“Yes.” The vixen said, indicating down the short hallway behind the desk, “He’s in Office 2 on the right side.”

“Thanks.” Nick said, heading down to the room. He knocked on the door.

“Enter.” Came a voice from the other side of the door. Nick opened the door.

“Archie, it’s been some time.” Nick smiled.

Archibald ‘Archie’ Weaselton was in his early seventies, but he looked as spry as ever. Unlike his son, not a strand of fur was out of place, and his suit, while looking a little worn, was nevertheless clean. He wore glasses, which was a new thing to Nick.

“How’s your son? I haven’t seen him since… well, for fifteen years.” Nick said.

“In jail, would you believe it.” Archie said.

“What did he do this time?” Nick asked.

“The usual.” Archie shrugged, “Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with that boy.” He shook his head, “You didn’t come here to hear family stories.”

Nick’s expression fell.

“No, I did not.” Nick agreed, “I’m here to put my Mother’s affairs in order.”

Archie pulled a sealed envelope towards him.

“As the will concerns more than one party, I take it you have informed the relevant parties that they need to be present?”

“I have.” Nick nodded, “But before we begin, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“What would that be?”

Nick breathed in deeply.

“I want to change my name.”

“Again?” Archie raised an eyebrow, “Wasn’t one change enough?”

“Well…” Nick began, “It’s not me taking a new name so much as going back to an old one.”

Archie stared at Nick for a while.

“Look, there was something in Mom’s letter that rings true, and I had words with… friends this morning that made me realise I have been running from _myself_ for too long.” Nick explained, “Reverting my name just… it’s the start of the process.”

Archie continued to stare at Nick for a moment, before snorting and pulling a document from the drawers in his desk.

It was a form for changing his name. Nick knew the process would likely take some time.

“Fill this out and send it to City Hall.” Archie remarked.

“Thank you.” Nick said, taking the form.

******

_Once Carrots arrives, she settles into the chair next to mine and Archie begins reading out the will._

_Mom left me her apartment. She left Nicholas her savings. And the will stated that she wanted to be buried in the same plot as Dad. She also had a life insurance policy that would cover the funeral._

_As soon as the reading was over, I leave. Finnick took me home, and I call the undertaker to let them know what was going to happen next._

_Mom’s funeral is to happen within a week._

_And for me: Nicholas Johnathan Hood goes away, and Nicholas Piberius Wilde comes back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a chapter based on Robin’s POV of Viola’s death but I’ve ‘deleted’ the chapter (not literally, but it won’t be a part of the main story) because of a couple of reasons: first, I feel that it interrupted the flow of the story, and secondly, I’m not confident on it. I may post it as a bonus chapter once the story is finished.
> 
> I’ll admit: this was a little hard to write. Part of this chapter almost had me in tears after I read it, and I’m the author. Can’t say that it’ll do the same for everyone else, of course.
> 
> One of the longest chapters, but it also means this story has not got a lot of time left on it before it is finished.
> 
> To be honest, I’m not sure how will readings are done, because I’ve never been in one as the last member of my family to pass was my great grandmother eight years ago, and I wasn’t named in her will so I didn’t have to be there.
> 
> Thank you so much for your reviews! Here’s some responses to those reviews:
> 
> Gunslinger99 (AO3): Judy still loves Nick, and Nick still cares greatly for her too. What Judy was trying to say is that she fears losing Nick again even as a friend. She agrees that too much water has passed under the bridge for them to get back together as a couple. This chapter shows exactly what Nick’s feelings are on the matter, and I hope I made it clearer through Nick’s monologue that he, at this moment in time, cannot see them going past friends.
> 
> Brunix (FF): Nicholas doesn’t hate Robin, and in my mind while he resents Nick for being away, he knows it’s not Robin’s fault. As for your other point… I think this chapter answers that.
> 
> Anteroinen (AO3): That chapter serves as a turning point for pretty much all the characters. Judy knows she’s not been a great mother to Nicholas, in spite of all of her speeches about trying. She’s still stuck under the ‘try too hard or not even try’ mentality she mentioned.
> 
> jamdea (FF/AO3): Judy thinks that Nick distanced himself from her completely and as a result has no attachment to Nicholas. Obviously, that’s not the case. As for Nick’s slight inconsistency: people act oddly in grief.
> 
> REV6Pilot (FF): Thank you. I did PM you a brief response (I was on my tablet at the time and that’s not a particularly great way of writing an eloquent response). I’m happy that you see where I’m going with this story. As for previous less-than-constructive reviews… I pay them little mind. So long as they’re reading it properly (like not ignoring parts of a chapter) I really do appreciate the feedback. It helps me to improve even if I don’t necessarily agree with the reviews in their entirety. I do have this up on AO3, and my name on there is the same as on FF. I did submit this to ZNN, so it might get some more exposure in the future.
> 
> So, that’s that. The next chapters deal with Viola’s funeral. Until next time!


	10. Goodbye Viola

** Goodbye Viola **

(From the point of view of Judy)

_Today is the day Viola Wilde is buried._

_Somehow that fact makes everything seem a lot more real to me._

_I’m dressed in a black suit and white blouse, which is not my usual style, but today it is necessary. The last time I was in this suit was when Pop -Pop passed away ten years ago. I check myself in the mirror._

_The last touch is to attach a small lily to the breast pocket._

_It also happens to be my last official day as Chief of Precinct 1, but that concerns me a whole lot less than the funeral. Both the Mayor and Commissioner Bogo understand, and they have both told me to take the day off: Fangmeyer will simply start her new role a little earlier than she thought she would._

_What matters most to me right now is that I be there for my son. I’ll be there for my friend. And I’ll be there to remember the vixen who I realise now never gave up hope that things would get better._

_My phone rings, breaking me from my thoughts. I pick it up and check the caller ID. It’s my Mom._

******

“Hi Mom.” Judy said after she hit the ‘Accept’ icon on her phone’s screen. Her mother’s face appeared on the screen.

Bonnie Hopps was now in her late sixties, but Judy swore she didn’t look a day over fifty. In the background, Judy could see her Dad, Stu, doing something, but she couldn’t see what it was.

“ _Hey, sweetie._ ” Bonnie said, “ _How are you holding up?_ ”

“I’m fine.” Judy replied.

“ _Judy…_ ” Bonnie replied, her face concerned, “ _You may be 42, but your ears still droop when you’re not okay._ ”

“Mom powers, huh…” Judy let out a small chuckle.

“ _Yes, and you know exactly what I’m talking about._ ” Bonnie said, “ _How is Nicholas doing?_ ”

“He’s…” Judy began, “Incredibly upset, even if he’s trying to hide it from me. Mrs. Wilde’s passing hit him hard.”

“ _Well, of course it would._ ” Bonnie replied, “ _She was his Grandma too, and his only link to his father._ ”

“Not any more…” Judy replied.

“ _I know he’s back, but he was away for fifteen years, hon._ ” Bonnie said, “ _I know you hope that everything will be all right, but he wasn’t there for Nicholas’ early years. How can he possibly be a father to him now? Maybe it’s for the best that he goes back once the funeral is done._ ”

“ _Is that Jude?_ ” came the voice of Stu, and he appeared on the screen, “ _Hey, Jude! How’s it going? Need me to come with a pitchfork to take care of your problem?_ ”

“We’re seriously not going to do this today of all days.” Judy said, frowning, “Viola was Nick’s Mom, not just Nicholas’ Grandma, and I’m _not_ going to kick Nick while he’s down. Or when he’s up, for that matter. I’ve spent fifteen years regretting the _last_ time I did that, and you of all people should know that!”

“ _We’re not suggesting that at all._ ” Bonnie said, holding up a paw in concession, before shooting a pointed glare at Stu, “ _Nor will you ever hear us do so._ ”

Bonnie sighed.

“ _I’m sorry, hon. We didn’t mean to sound insensitive. We’re just worried._ ”

“I’m fine.” Judy repeated her earlier statement.

“ _Well, if you insist… I’ll let you go now, Judy. Chin up._ ” Bonnie said.

“I’ll try.” Judy replied, before the call ended. She gave her suit the once-over again, adjusting the lily pin, before leaving the room and knocking on Nicholas’ bedroom door.

“Nicholas, are you ready yet?” Judy called.

There was no response, so Judy tentatively pushed open the door. Nicholas was sat on his bed, in his suit, his paws between his knees and his head bowed.

“Hey…” Judy stepped into the room and sat next to him on the bed, “It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Nicholas said, “Grandma Wilde is gone. She’s gone.”

“Try not to think of it like that.” Judy said, “She might have died, but she lives.” Judy said, placing a paw over Nicholas’ chest, “She lives in here. In you.”

Nicholas looked at Judy, tears in his eyes.

“Come here, son.” Judy said, pulling Nicholas into a hug, one that Nicholas, for the first time in a long time, returned.

******

_Viola’s funeral is to be held at the chapel at Great Prince Cemetery in the Rainforest District. As is usual for the District, rain is ‘forecast’._

_I know my way to the cemetery: after all, during my time with the ZPD, I have attended the funerals of three of my colleagues. One of them, Leroy Wolfard, is buried in the same cemetery that Viola is to be buried in._

_It takes about half an hour in the morning rush traffic to get to the cemetery. When I get there, I can already see Finnick’s van pulled up. Turning the engine off and taking a deep breath, I get out of the car. Nicholas follows me. We walk in silence towards the chapel situated in the centre of the cemetery. The Minister, a black fox, is standing outside the chapel, with Nick._

_Nick nods to me and Nicholas as we pass._

_Once we’re inside, I notice that there are very few mourners here. A few foxes are sat in the pews, none of which I recognise, and Finnick is sat on the second row. I can see Robin sat on the front row, his head bowed._

_The Minister and Nick come inside. The Minister tells me that, at Nick’s request and as the mother of Nick’s son, I should sit on the front row alongside him, as family are usually the ones invited to the front row. He nods to Nick and Nick disappears back outside as I sit on the front row. Nicholas sits beside me. Robin casts me a nervous glance._

_There’s several minutes of silence. Nobody moved. There are a few glances between the assembled congregation. I take the time to look around myself._

_Some of the assembled foxes are Viola’s age, so I guess they were friends. Some are younger, so they may be children of those foxes._

_The Minister asks us to stand. As I do, I glance around at the door._

_A group of foxes, six of them, carry in a coffin – Viola’s coffin –  on their shoulders. Nick is in the front, the coffin balanced on his right shoulder. The procession carrying the coffin walk past and place it on the stand in front of the Minister. Then the Minister steps into the pulpit and speaks._

******

“We are gathered here today to pay our respects to, and to celebrate the life of our departed sister, Viola Emma Wilde.” The Minister said, “She has left this world, moving into the Great Beyond to be with those who have passed before.”

The Minister looked up.

“I will now hand you over to her son, Nicholas Wilde, who has some words to say.” The Minister said. He stepped down from the pulpit. Nick, who had sat in the front row next to Robin, got up and stepped into the pulpit. All eyes were on him as he unfolded a piece of paper and placed it on the pedestal.

“When I was a kit, Mom would always tell me ‘Night falls, but the sun will always rise the next day’.” Nick read, “For me, night fell for a long time, but Mom was always there trying to get me back from the darkness and into the light. She never stopped believing in the good that was out in the world. Never stopped believing in those she loved. That’s the sort of vixen she was.” Judy could see tears streaming from Nick’s eyes as his voice wavered, “She saw the good in everybody. She knew that everybody takes a fall in their lives at some point, but she was always there, offering a paw to help you get back on your feet. Being a single mother to a kit who had lost hope could never have been easy, but she never gave up hope on me. That was her greatest gift to the world: the gift of hope.”

Nick swallowed and glanced at his mother’s coffin.

“She was the best mother a broken tod could ask for.” Nick said finally, before stepping down from the pulpit and returning to his seat, the fur of his face marked by tear tracks. The Minister stepped back in.

“Thank you for those words, Nicholas.” The Minister said, “Viola was loved by those she knew. Her passing is a tragedy but we must remember that in death, suffering shall end. Life is a beginning, and death is a natural part of life. Do not see death as the end, for death is simply moving on to the next life. And now I would like to make a reading, before we finally lay Viola to rest.”

****** 

_The Minister reads a passage from the book he is holding. I look up at Nicholas, who has his head bowed, tears falling down his face. My arm reaches out to him and I do my best to comfort him while trying to remain strong myself. The Minister finishes reading the passage, and says that we will now move to the burial. I look at Nick, who steps forward with the other five foxes who carried Viola’s coffin in. The six foxes lift the coffin again. The Minister once again asks us to stand. The procession carries Viola’s coffin out, with the Minister following. We follow the minister out. I’m still holding onto Nicholas as we leave. The journey to the grave doesn’t take long. I can see the plot dug up._

_Next to it, on the left, I can see a grave with a headstone that reads:_

_‘Johnathan Reginald Wilde._

_1967-1990._

_Father, husband, son._

_“One day the world will be a better place.”’_

_The congregation has stopped. The coffin-bearers gingerly lower the coffin into the ground. The Minister once again speaks, though I’m not listening, instead staring silently at the coffin being lowered._

_In what seems to me to be an eternity, the Minister finishes speaking. Nick backs off, staring at the coffin laid into the ground. He picks up a lily from a bunch that has been laid beside the grave and tosses it in on top of the coffin. The attendants start piling dirt onto the coffin, committing Viola Wilde to the ground._

_Nicholas slips out of my grasp and approaches Nick. For a moment, I’m worried that Nicholas might start something._

_Then something I did not expect happens._

_Nicholas steps forward and hugs Nick._

_For Nick’s part, he seems quite surprised by that._

_Robin stands behind Nick, and my first thought is that he might feel left out, but the look he’s giving them both… I think Robin knows the two of them need this moment._

_Nicholas breaks away from Nick and then hugs Robin too. Robin acts just like Nick did: he stiffens up at the contact at first and then once he’s gotten used to it, he returns the embrace._

_I approach Nick myself. We stare at each other for a while, not saying anything._

_Then Nick steps forward and takes me into an embrace. I can hear him crying, and tears silently streak down my face as well._

_It seems like an eternity before we part. Nicholas and Robin are stood side-by-side, watching us. Nick nods to me, and we both look one last time at Viola Wilde’s new resting place. Nick gives a curt nod to that of his father’s grave. I watch him as he stops for a moment. Then he says something._

_“You’d better take care of Mom, you hear?” Nick says. He stares at John Wilde’s headstone a little while longer, as if expecting John Wilde to respond from beyond the grave, before turning away._

_I follow Nick from the cemetery, my paw reaching out to his, but not quite touching before it falls back to my side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is where we come to the funeral. I initially envisaged this as one chapter covered from Nick’s POV – after all, it’s his mother’s funeral – but once I mapped the story out I figured that it would be worth showing these events from all four points of view – Judy’s, Nicholas’, Nick’s and Robin’s, in that order. Each would have a different view of proceedings, which is why I’m doing it for this final act.
> 
> I based this funeral partly on my own experiences with my great grandmother’s funeral eight years ago. The cemetery is, in my mind, based upon the one my great grandmother is buried in (If you’re curious, Google ‘Ship Lane Cemetery Farnborough’) The imagery I was thinking of when I wrote the last line of this chapter comes from a British TV series called Primeval. There, a major character dies at the end of the second season and his funeral ends the final episode of that season. The passage the Minister reads is Psalm 23, given that’s the one they use at funerals if memory serves.
> 
> Clarifying point: In chapter 2 I refer to a Stan Fangmeyer, and in the previous chapter I referred to a Trisha Fangmeyer. This isn’t a slip-up: if anybody notices, the tiger we all assumed to be Fangmeyer in the film (the one sitting on Judy’s row) isn’t actually the tiger that responds when Bogo calls out Fangmeyer’s name. My assumption here is that there are two Fangmeyers. One is male (the one who answers to Fangmeyer in the film, the one I’ve named Stan) and the other is female (the one on Judy’s row in the bullpen, named Trisha). Hope that clears things up a bit.
> 
> Fun tidbit: I still have the ‘first version’ of chapter 5 on my hard drive (but not Chapter 4). Whenever I need reminding of what could go catastrophically wrong in writing my story, I read that and cringe. No, I will NOT be posting that as bonus content.
> 
> Another note: I still have the Chapter 8 that details Robin’s thoughts on things so far. So if anybody wants to read it and give me some feedback, I can PM a link to you. If it’s better than I think it is, I might be persuaded to reinsert it in its proper place in the story.
> 
> I’m considering ideas for a possible continuation of this storyline once this story is finished, but it will take some time. I have ideas already on how it would work.
> 
> Review responses:
> 
> Guest (FF): Thank you. However, while I’d certainly love to give your story a read, you reviewed as a guest and didn’t leave your name, so I have no idea who you are.
> 
> Gunslinger99 (AO3): I’m thankful this has moved you. Aside from these funeral chapters, Letters and Wills was the hardest chapter to write so far. As for Robin’s point of view, I won’t be keeping you waiting for long.
> 
> Jack Kellar (AO3): Grief is indeed an unfortunate uniting force.
> 
> HermioneRose1991 (AO3): Thank you. I wasn’t sure when I started this out that it was going to work, and I did take some mis-steps early on that I’m glad reviewers have driven me to correct. I can’t speak too much about what I have planned for Nick and Judy at the end of this story because that would be spoiling, but at the moment I’m considering whether I want to continue down this timeline once I’ve finished with Survival, and it would definitely be worth further exploration as to how far I could take their relationship if I did do a sequel.
> 
> Jamdea (FF): I’ll definitely be finishing this story and I won’t be cutting any more out from the point forward. With regards to the Robin chapter, I decided to make that a ‘deleted scene’ chapter which will get posted once the story itself is complete. I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your brother. It’s always hard when you lose a member of your family who is such a big part of your life. Thank you for your compliments.


	11. In Grief We Mend

** In Grief We Mend **

(From the point of view of Nicholas) 

_A week._

_That’s how long it took for it to really sink in that Grandma Wilde is gone forever._

_I learned that Mom handed in her resignation from the role of Police Chief. She told me she wants to spend more time with me, trying to be a better mother to me._

_I’m starting to feel bad for accusing her of not being there. I remember what Grandma Wilde used to say to me:_

_“I might not understand why she’s done what she has done, but she is still your mother, and nothing will change that.”_

_I wake up this morning, on the day of her funeral, feeling numb to start with. Then it starts to dawn on me, properly dawn on me, what today means._

******

Nicholas stood in front of his wardrobe, staring at the suit that he was going to be wearing that day for his Grandmother’s funeral. It was a black suit and tie that his Mother had specifically gone out to get him. Or that was what she had told him at first. But the suit, while very competently made, was quite clearly not _professionally_ made. And furthermore, Nicholas could smell a vague, familiar scent on there.

The scent was that of a fox.

The scent of Nick Wilde.

At first, Nicholas had refused to wear it, but Judy had told him that Nick had made that suit for him because she didn’t have the ability to find him a suit on such short notice. She told him that when Nick was younger, he had made all sorts of outfits for the ‘work’ he and Finnick would do together, as well as adjusting wolf-sized clothing for himself. Apparently, clothes-making was a skill his own father had taught him when he was a kit.

Taking a deep breath, Nicholas took the suit from his wardrobe and started changing into his suit. Once he was done, he sat on his bed, resting his paws between his knees, with his head lowered.

A knock came at the door.

“Nicholas, are you ready yet?” Judy called.

Nicholas didn’t respond. Judy tentatively pushed open the door. She saw Nicholas sat on the bed.

“Hey…” Judy stepped into the room and sat next to him on the bed, “It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Nicholas said, “Grandma Wilde is gone. She’s gone.”

“Not really.” Judy said, “She might have died, but she lives.” Judy said, placing a paw over Nicholas’ chest, “She lives in here. In you.”

Nicholas looked at Judy, tears in his eyes.

“Come here, son.” Judy said, pulling Nicholas into a hug. Nicholas returned the hug, allowing tears to fall silently.

******

_It hurts. It hurts badly. I’ve never felt pain like this before, ever._

_Because Grandma Wilde was the only link I had to my father? No…_

_Maybe it’s the fact that despite me being a complete freak of nature, Grandma Wilde still loved me._

_Or is it because I had to watch her slowly become lost to the point where she forgot who I was? Or maybe it’s because in the end, there was nothing I could do to stop her from leaving us?_

_I’m powerless to stop my tears. My hold on Mom tightens._

_Mom lets go of me after what seems like an eternity. She tells me that it’s time to go. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I follow her from the room, out of the apartment and into the car._

_The car ride across Savanna Central and into the Rainforest District, where Grandma Wilde’s funeral was being held, is in complete silence. Mom leaves me to my thoughts, though I can see her glance at me every once in a while. Like she wants to say more. I don’t need to hear any more, though._

_I think it took about half an hour to get across the District to the cemetery. We arrive there, and I can see a few cars, and that van with the artwork on the side that belongs to the fennec that Wilde knew._

_Mom switches the engine off. She takes a deep breath before she leaves the car. I get out and follow her into the cemetery._

_There’s nothing said. Nothing to be said as we walk towards the small chapel in the middle of the cemetery._

_There he is… standing with the Minister. They’re talking about something, when Wilde nods in our direction. Mom and I go into the chapel._

_There’s not many people in here. All of the ones that are, are foxes. I suddenly feel very out-of-place. But that’s not as disconcerting as the thought that Viola didn’t have many friends, it would seem. Why? She was one of the kindest mammals I knew. Surely there would be more that would miss her than this?_

_I’m broken from my thoughts when I hear pawsteps coming from behind us. Mom turns and the Minister approaches us with Wilde._

_The Minister says that we should sit at the front as I’m Wilde’s son. It was at Wilde’s request. The Minister turns to Wilde, gives him a nod and Wilde turns around and walks back out of the door._

_Mom and I move down the chapel to the front row and take our seats on the same row as Robin. He casts both of us a glance filled with nervousness and shyness._

_The chapel is eerily quiet. It’s as if everybody else were dead themselves._

_After a few moments, the Minister walks to the front and stands in the pulpit._

******

“Ladies and Gentlemammals, if you would please stand.” The Minister said. The congregated mammals all stood as asked.  Everybody turned around towards the door as six foxes slowly marched in, each with the coffin of Viola Wilde resting on a shoulder.

Nicholas’ eyes were fixed on Nick, who stood at the front, the coffin balanced on his right shoulder. Nicholas could see the tear tracks on Nick’s face.

The six foxes reached the front and slowly laid the coffin down on the stand in front of the Minister. All of the foxes retreated to the pews, with the exception of Nick, who stood to the side of the coffin. The Minister stepped forward.

“We are gathered here today to pay our respects to, and to celebrate the life of our departed sister, Viola Emma Wilde.” The Minister said, “She has left this world, moving into the Great Beyond to be with those who have passed before.”

The Minister looked up.

“I will now hand you over to her son, Nicholas Wilde, who has some words to say.” The Minister said. He stepped down from the pulpit. Nick, who had sat in the front row next to Robin, got up and stepped into the pulpit. All eyes were on him as he unfolded a piece of paper and placed it on the pedestal.

“When I was a kit, Mom would always tell me ‘Night falls, but the sun will always rise the next day’.” Nick read, “For me, night fell for a long time, but Mom was always there trying to get me back from the darkness and into the light. She never stopped believing in the good that was out in the world. Never stopped believing in those she loved. That’s the sort of vixen she was.” Nick’s voice wavered, “She saw the good in everybody. She knew that everybody takes a fall in their lives at some point, but she was always there, offering a paw to help you get back on your feet. Being a single mother to a kit who had lost hope could never have been easy, but she never gave up hope on me. That was her greatest gift to the world: the gift of hope.”

Nick swallowed and glanced at his mother’s coffin.

“She was the best mother a broken tod could ask for.” Nick said finally, before stepping down from the pulpit and returning to his seat, the fur of his face marked by tear tracks. The Minister stepped back in.

******

_His words… they make the hurt worse within me._

_Because for the first time, I’m seeing Wilde in a completely different light._

_I’m not seeing the deadbeat I thought he was._

_I’m seeing a fox whose heart has been broken more times than you would think one could handle._

_It’s as if the pieces suddenly start fitting together for me. Don’t be mistaken: I’m a long way off seeing him as my Dad, but… it’s like the hate just melted away. Or maybe it wasn’t ever hate in the first place._

_The Minister speaks. I’m not paying attention to the words, but I do turn my head away from Wilde and back towards the coffin in which Grandma Wilde is resting. It’s not long before I feel the tears coming and I bow my head in an effort to hide them._

_Before I know it, we’re asked to stand again. Wilde gets back up, as do the other five foxes, and they all lift Grandma Wilde’s coffin onto their shoulders again, and start to carry her out. The Minister follows next, and then we’re all filing out, following the coffin around the cemetery to where Grandma Wilde will be laid to rest, finally. Mon doesn’t let go of my arm. I think she’s trying to comfort me._

_The coffin-bearers lower the coffin into the ground, and the Minister speaks as they do._

******

“And now we commit our sister Viola Emma Wilde to eternal rest, Earth to Earth,” the Minister threw a pawful of dirt into the open grave on top of the coffin, “Ashes to ashes,” another pawful, “Dust to dust.” One final pawful. He nodded to the attendants stood to the sides of the grave and they started to shoved soil on top of Viola’s coffin.

Nicholas stared at the process for a moment before he looked up at Nick.

******

_I don’t know what drives me to do it. But I slip from Mom’s grip and head straight towards Wilde. He looks up and sees me coming, looking like he’s expecting some sort of confrontation._

_Instead, I step forward and awkwardly fling my arms around his middle._

_I’m not experienced with these sorts of things. I’m only half-rabbit, and not a very huggy one at that. Apparently, I tend to take after my father on that regard._

_I can feel Wilde stiffen in my grasp, but it’s only momentary. Tears silently trickle down my face._

_The moment ends and I let Wilde go. I notice that Robin is stood behind Wilde and I step towards him and hug him too._

_Robin behaves the same way as Wilde. His stiffens in my grasp but soon accepts the embrace._

_For the first time, I feel the jealousy I felt at the life Robin has had with Wilde become a small and insignificant voice. It’s true that Robin will always have what I never had: a childhood with a father. But I know, I just_ know _that Grandma Wilde wouldn’t want me to hate him for having something I didn’t._

_When I let go of Robin, he stares at me with something of a confused expression, but then his attention turns back to Wilde and… Mom?_

_Mom has Wilde in what I think is a comforting hug. Wilde is returning it, and I’m pretty sure he’s crying again. I can hear Mom’s slight sobs as well._

_The pair eventually break apart. Wilde looks to the grave on the right of Grandma Wilde’s and for the first time I see it: the name etched on the tombstone is ‘Johnathan Reginald Wilde’._

_My Grandfather. The one who really, knowingly, ran away from his child and mate._

_It puts things in perspective._

_Wilde is staring at the grave himself. He makes a single statement to it:_

_“You’d better take care of Mom, you hear?”_

_He stares just a little longer, before turning away._

_Mom follows, and me and Robin walk behind them._

_What I see surprises me._

_Both Mom and Wilde are reaching for each other’s paws, but they never make it before their paws fall back to their sides._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are tricky to write from an emotional standpoint, and that’s without writing the exact same events from different points of view. Nicholas isn’t a character driven by hatred but by confusion about his place in life. A ‘last goodbye’ moment can offer you the chance to change, and it can also offer you a new perspective on things. That’s what I was aiming for. Is he ready to just accept Nick as his father now? No. But I think Nicholas is now open to giving him a chance.
> 
> I wrote a great deal of this chapter listening to “The Last Goodbye” from the soundtrack to “The Hobbit: The Battle of The Five Armies”. It’s oddly fitting to this entire act. I’ll most likely be listening to it on a loop for Nick’s chapter too.
> 
> Time to get to some feedback:
> 
> Herbert West (FF): Thanks! Hope you stick around, we’re not far off the end now.
> 
> Gunslinger99 (AO3): Well, I’ll be answering those questions in the coming chapters, but let’s just say that Nick knowing that he has a son in Zootopia changes things a lot for him.
> 
> Guest (FF): Thanks! I’ve said this plenty, but the ideas behind this story are that time heals and that grief is an unusual uniting force. Will they have the same sort of relationship as before? Probably not, because you can’t go through what Nick and Judy have been through and wind up in the same place as before. But there are plenty of directions that they can go in.
> 
> Stubat (FF): Thank you! Judy opted to apply for Lieutenant rank in her resignation letter. So a big step down, but from there, she can finally resume her original intent to make the world a better place.
> 
> jamdea (FF): I like to leave a bit of wiggle room when it comes to certain things involving the characters. If I do decide to write a sequel down the line, it gives me a bit of room without setting some things in stone. For Stu, well… in my mind, he came to trust Nick, but after Nick left and Judy’s family had to help pick up the pieces, Stu became very much hostile towards Nick. He doesn’t hate foxes (he’s still in business with Gideon), he just doesn’t like Nick any more. As for the use of certain terms, I’ve included a short glossary in the opening comments of this chapter, so people won’t have to hop to Google or the nearest dictionary to find out what they are. I went to a Church of England school when I was a child so I’d probably be skinned alive by my former teachers if they heard I had forgotten certain terms like that (I’m not a religious sort though). The funeral is laid out based on my own personal experience.
> 
> TheGreatWaff (FF): Thank you. That bit is kind of based on my own experience – though there is no grave, after my great grandmother died, I actually remember saying, as if my great-Grandad (whom I have never met, only heard stories about because he died the year before I was born) could hear me, ‘Take care of her for us’.
> 
> Once again, thank you for the views, reviews and follows, and I hope to have the next chapter out sometime later this week. I’m also going to give you guys the choice as to whether Robin’s chapter comes first, or Nick’s. I’ve got two other stories (one is my first collab) so I’ll be working on those too. Until the next chapter.


	12. The Last Goodbye

** The Last Goodbye **

(From the point of view of Nick)

The alarm clock beside Nick’s bed went off. He shot a paw out from underneath the covers of his bed and swiped at it, silencing it. He sat up slowly and stretched.

His sleepy eyes looked around the room.

 _His_ room.

No longer was Nick a guest in this apartment. He owned it.

The question was what Nick would do with it, because to him, right now, this was not _his_ apartment. This was his Mom’s home.

Nick threw the cover off of his bed and stepped out of it. He stretched again, his eyes catching the suit he was going to be wearing for the day.

Less than two weeks ago, Viola had joked that it looked like Nick was dressed for a funeral. Now the irony was that he would be.

Today was the day that Nick would be laying his Mother to rest.

“Keep it together, Wilde.” Nick said to himself, “Never let them see they get to you.”

Nick felt a tear roll down his face.

“Yeah, what a joke…” Nick said, wiping it away.

He stepped out of his bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom, stopping only to glance into Viola’s old room. Aside from a few boxes of various things Nick had pulled out over the past few days, the room was virtually untouched. Nick wasn’t the sort to set up shrines or anything like that, but he felt that once he had tidied the room out, it would be best to leave it as it was.

Turning away from Viola’s room, Nick went into the bathroom, shut the door behind him and turned the shower on.

******

_Today is going to be the hardest day of my life so far._

_Harder than the press conference incident eighteen years ago._

_Harder than hearing the truth fifteen years ago._

_Harder than cremating Anabel._

_Harder than coming back to face the music._

_Today is the day I have to accept that Mom…_

_I never thought I would feel hurt like this again so soon, but there really is no comparison. It feels like somebody has torn my heart out from my chest._

******

Once Nick was done showering, he returned to his room and started to put his suit on, leaving the tie and jacket to the side, placed over a chair in the room, for the moment. He stepped out of his room and headed to the next room over, knocking on the door gently before opening the door.

Robin was still asleep. Nick spotted the suit he had made hanging up in the open wardrobe.

“Robin?” Nick called out gently. Robin’s response was to bunch under the covers. Nick stepped into the room.

“Robin… get up, son.” Nick said.

“Five more minutes…” Robin muttered. Nick let out a sound that almost sounded like a chuckle. He gently tugged the bed covers off of Robin, who groaned as he sat up.

“What time is it?” Robin asked.

“Seven o’clock.” Nick replied, glancing at the watch on his wrist, “Time to get up and get ready.”

Robin stretched and yawned pointedly. Nick ruffled the fur on Robin’s head.

“Dad, stop…” Robin said, trying to swat Nick’s paw away, “You’re messing up my fur.”

“Get your tail out of bed and I’ll stop.” Nick replied. Robin groaned and shifted out of the bed, stretching himself again.

“We have a big day today.” Nick said, turning around.

“Yeah, I know.” Robin said, with a downtrodden tone.

Nick left the room and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. He filled up the kettle with water and set himself out a mug of coffee.  As the kettle boiled, a knock came at the front door. Nick headed out and opened it, glancing downward. Finnick stood in front of the door, in a little black suit and sunglasses, despite the fact it was raining.

“‘sup.” Finnick said, stepping inside.

Nick closed the door and returned to the kitchen as Robin came out of his room, wearing his suit trousers and shirt. Nick poured Robin a glass of orange juice, made two coffees and headed into the living room.

“Don’t suppose you got anything stronger?” Finnick raised an eyebrow as Nick passed him the second coffee.

“First off, you know Mom never drank.” Nick replied, “Second, you’re doing the driving today, so lay off the booze.”

“You run a theme park business. You’re supposed to be fun.” Finnick mock pouted just before taking a sip of the coffee.

“Fun’s being left behind today, Fin.” Nick sighed, before taking a sip of his coffee, “And it’ll be left behind afterward too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Finnick raised an eyebrow.

“Fired off the letter yesterday.” Nick leaned back into his chair, “The last thing I’ll ever sign as Nicholas Hood.”

Finnick’s eyebrows rose with realisation.

“You quit your job?” Finnick said.

“Yup.” Nick replied, “Me and Robin have talked it out, and I’m handing it all over to my Deputy. And when we get back to Mexicat, I’m putting the apartment up for sale.”

Finnick continued to gape at Nick.

“You movin’ back then?” he asked.

The corner of Nick’s mouth twitched briefly.

“Told you, Fin. Time I stopped running away.” Nick said.

“And what about Robin?” Finnick looked at the young kit, who stared back.

“I was home-schooled anyway.” Robin shrugged, “Dad said it was best to avoid what he went through as a kit.”

“Hmph.” Finnick grunted, “And what about his Mom? Gonna be difficult for him to go pay his respects if she’s in a different country.”

“She was cremated and I still have her ashes.” Nick said, “Look, Fin… can we talk about this later?”

******

_Finnick drops the subject and there is silence in the room. Once I’m done with my coffee, I head back to my room and finish putting the rest of my suit on, Robin goes back into his room, while Finnick sits in the living room and waits. I stare at myself in the mirror, and for the first time in fifteen years, I see myself, my true self, staring back at me._

_Those words come back to me._

_Be yourself._

_I feel a tear trickling down by cheek. I wipe it away. Glancing at the watch on my wrist, I notice that it’s getting close to the time we have to go._

_I pick up my mobile phone from my room and call the Minister, telling him that we’re about to leave. Once I’m done, I leave my room and meet Finnick and Robin in the living room. Silently, we leave the apartment and clamber into Finnick’s van. I can feel Finnick give me a quick glance before he starts it and drives off._

_The cemetery isn’t far from the house. It takes us only a few minutes. The Minister waits at the gates for us. As I get out, I nod to Finnick and he goes inside the cemetery, headed for the chapel in the centre._

******

“Welcome, Nicholas.” The Minister, a black fox, said, offering a paw for Nick to shake, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks.” Nick replied. The Minister then noticed Robin.

“Is this Viola’s grandchild?” the Minister asked.

“Yes.” Nick nodded, “And there’s something I need to talk to you about before anyone else arrives.”

“Come inside for a moment and we can talk.” The Minister replied. Nick and Robin followed the Minister inside the cemetery and under the chapel’s porch.

“I have another member of the family on the way.” Nick said to the Minister.

“We welcome all who can be here today to celebrate the life of the departed.” The Minister said, “If this mammal is family, I take it you want them up the front?”

“Yes.” Nick nodded, “And it won’t be difficult to spot him, because his mother is…”

“Judith Hopps.” The Minister cut Nick off, surprising him, “Yes, I’m old enough to remember the pair of you swashbuckling around the city after the Savage Mammal days almost two decades ago. I take it then that her son…”

“He’s mine.” Nick said.

“Oh, my.” The Minister widened his eyes in surprise, “That _is_ unusual. Not unheard of, but not something I’ve seen often.”

The Minister stepped out of the way as a small group of foxes shuffled into the chapel.

“Viola’s friends.” Nick said, “I had a tough time tracking some of them down.”

“She doesn’t have many here today.” The Minister remarked.

“Some of them don’t live in the City anymore, and some have passed on. She had no other living family.” Nick said.

Nick’s attention was turned towards the path leading to the chapel as Judy and Nicholas arrived. Nick nodded briefly at the pair of them.

******

_Seeing Carrots in that black suit is… she looks sombre. And Nicholas... I’m so sorry that we had to meet like this. I really doubt this is what Mom wanted for any of us._

_The pair go inside. I follow the Minister into the doorway and he tells them both that they should sit on the front row. I can hear the sound of an approaching vehicle. The Minister turns to me and nods, and I turn around and walk back outside._

_The hearse stops roughly ten metres from the door to the church. There is a second car behind it, and from the two vehicles, five foxes step out. I move to greet them and for a moment, my eyes latch on to the coffin in the back of the hearse._

_It’s at that moment everything becomes real for me. I’m pretty sure I start crying again, choked sobs racking me for a moment as the hearse opens to allow the six of us to take the coffin out with the utmost care._

_Carrying her to her final resting place is all I can do for Mom now._

_The six of us hoist the coffin onto our shoulders. I’m stood at the front, with the coffin balanced on my right shoulder. We march towards the chapel’s entrance. Once we’re inside, we head down the middle aisle to the front of the chapel._

_The six of us carefully lower Mom down onto the stand set up at the front. The five other bearers step back and head for the back of the chapel to wait for the service to conclude. I stand to the side of Mom’s coffin._

******

“We are gathered here today to pay our respects to, and to celebrate the life of our departed sister, Viola Emma Wilde.” The Minister said, “She has left this world, moving into the Great Beyond to be with those who have passed before.”

The Minister looked up.

“I will now hand you over to her son, Nicholas Wilde, who has some words to say.” The Minister said. He stepped down from the pulpit. Nick, who had sat in the front row next to Robin, got up and stepped into the pulpit. All eyes were on him as he unfolded a piece of paper and placed it on the pedestal.

******

_I had all these things I wanted to say. I wrote and rewrote this speech so many times, each being thrown out when I could bear it no more. In truth, the speech I wound up writing was not very long. It didn’t even fill a single side of paper, but in the end, I feel that the things that Mom was best known for, everybody else would know anyway. It goes without saying._

_So I stand here, in the pulpit, staring down at my speech. I feel now that I read it through that I could say so much more, but the thought hurts. It’s like a knife to my heart._

_Before I lose my composure completely, I speak:_

_When I was a kit, Mom would always tell me ‘Night falls, but the sun will always rise the next day’. For me, night fell for a long time, but Mom was always there trying to get me back from the darkness and into the light. She never stopped believing in the good that was out in the world. Never stopped believing in those she loved. That’s the sort of vixen she was. She saw the good in everybody. She knew that everybody takes a fall in their lives at some point, but she was always there, offering a paw to help you get back on your feet. Being a single mother to a kit who had lost hope could never have been easy, but she never gave up hope on me. That was her greatest gift to the world: the gift of hope._

_As I’m speaking, I can feel the tears return. My voice wavers. My gaze returns to Mom’s coffin. She was the best mother a broken tod could ask for._

_Having said that to close out, I step down from the pulpit and sit on the first row next to Robin. I’ll confess to not paying much attention to the Minister, my eyes fixed firmly on Mom._

_The Minister finally asks the congregation to stand. I walk back over to Mom and the five bearers and myself lift her onto our shoulders again. We carry her outside the chapel, around the back, down the path and towards the freshly-dug plot. We get there and the six of us slowly lower Mom into the ground. The Minister speaks, and his words add to the finality of this day._

_I pick up one of the lilies lying next to the plot and throw it in after Mom as the attendants start piling earth on top of her to commit her to the ground for eternity._

_My last goodbye._

_I just watch. There’s nothing more I can do now but watch. And regret not being here for Mom sooner._

_I hear footsteps coming towards me. I turn and see Nicholas approaching, his face a mask of grim determination. For a fleeting moment, I fear he might hit me again, like he did when we first met._

_So what he does next completely takes me by surprise._

_Nicholas flings his arms around me. I’m frozen in place at first, not sure what to make of it. But it doesn’t last long, and I’m returning the hug._

_He lets me go and heads over to Robin, no doubt to offer his condolences to him too, but my attention instead turns towards Judy, who has been watching the whole time._

_There’s nothing to say. I’m pretty sure our eyes meet for what seems like an eternity. And for a moment, I’m back there, eighteen years ago, under that bridge._

_The illusion doesn’t last long. I step forward and take Judy into an embrace. This time, it’s me that’s crying._

_I’ve lost so much here. But I haven’t yet lost everything._

_I don’t know how long we’re holding each other for, but eventually I let Judy go. I look briefly at Robin and Nicholas, the two unique legacies of mine. They’re staring at us but they don’t say anything. I nod briefly to Judy before turning to leave. There’s nothing else for me to do here. Everybody else is leaving._

_But as I do, I stop by the grave next to Mom’s. The grave in question belongs to one Johnathan Reginald Wilde._

_My father._

_I haven’t visited this grave since I was a kit, though Mom always did. Until I came back to Zootopia, I never understood why._

_For a moment, I consider the idea that, somehow, John Wilde is watching me._

_So I say to John’s headstone: You’d better take care of Mom, you hear?_

_Because if you don’t, I’m kicking your ass out of heaven when I die._

_I stare at the headstone for a while longer, before turning away and heading for the cemetery gates._

_I cast a sideways glance in Judy’s direction. My paw, almost instinctively, reaches out to hers… but the ghost of the past returns to haunt me briefly before leaving, and my paw falls back to my side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotionally this chapter was very, very draining, the most draining for me so far. I actually had to take two days off after finishing Nicholas’ chapter before writing this and I think I’ll be doing it again. The song quoted was on loop while writing this chapter. Again this is from some personal experience: even on the day of the funeral, the finality doesn’t hit you until you’ve already said your last goodbyes and they’re buried.
> 
> I had a ton of stuff that I wrote for the opening of this chapter that I wound up condensing right down into the small conversation with Finnick – it’s stuff that I deemed necessary for inclusion but needed to not be as dominant as I originally wrote.
> 
> So, to some review responses:
> 
> Ghostwolf88 (FF): Thank you, and you’re welcome. I was worried that the last chapter might have come across as I hadn’t intended, but I guess that’s just a result of the emotions I was going through writing it.
> 
> WolfDragon (FF): Who knows? I know Nick and Judy want to start again as friends but where they go from there… if I write a sequel, that’s what I will be showing.
> 
> Jack Kellar (AO3): Thank you. First contact was more or less my goal with the story, and any further development of this story was pretty much dependant on the reception it got. I didn’t want to risk putting myself through those emotions getting inside these characters for a second time if the first time didn’t come out right. However, I’m already drawing up some ideas on what I might do for a sequel to this.
> 
> Jamdea (FF): I’m not sure what you mean by “bonus material” unless you’re referring to the Robin POV chapter that I cut. The reasons I decided to do this in chunks were that, first off it did affect the immersion if I had to explain whose thoughts I was relaying on each monologue. Then there was the fact that it would wind up a 20+ page chapter (in word document format). And finally, these two chapters alone have been emotionally draining to write. I had to push myself to finish this one. As for a sequel… I’m drafting ideas. I’m still not 100% locked on what exactly Nick is going to be doing once he returns to Zootopia full-time – it turns out that he’s been off the Force too long, and he’s too old to go back through the Academy a second time, so he’s pretty much never going to be a cop again. However there are still things I could do with him.
> 
> TheUnaccomplishedWriter (FF): Thank you for your support. I’d just be parroting what I’ve said above to the other reviewers, but I’m considering where I might take the next story.
> 
> I’m going to take a small breather before writing Robin’s chapter. But I will be back soon. Thank you and see you next time.


	13. A Kit In Mourning

** A Kit In Mourning **

(From the point of view of Robin)

_I have odd dreams. It’s always the sea, or some faraway place I’ve never been. Sometimes I still see Mom in my dreams, but I can never remember what she says in my dreams._

_Since Grandma Wilde died, I’ve started to see her in my dreams too, sometimes alongside Mom._

_I can never catch up to either of them before I wake up._

_And I dreamed this dream before I’m awakened by small noises coming from outside my room. Part of me wants to sink back into the dream, to try and catch them, to talk to them both, to tell them one last time that I love them._

_The knocking at the door is making that difficult._

_I hear the door creak open and I squeeze my eyes as shut as I can get them. I don’t want to get up._

_Dad softly calls my name. I don’t move. I just want to sleep some more. I pull the covers closer to myself. Dad comes in and tells me it’s time to get up._

_Can I at least have five more minutes?_

_Dad doesn’t think so, because he pulls the cover off of me. I sit up, a groan escaping me as I do._

_I ask Dad what the time is. It’s seven o’clock._

_I make a show of yawning. Dad responds by ruffling the fur between my ears. I don’t like Dad doing it that much, it’s something that you do to a six-year-old and Dad is messing the fur up on my head. I try to bat Dad’s paw away. He says that he’ll stop if I get out of bed._

_So, I get out of bed._

_I know why Dad wants me to get up and not laze about in bed. Today’s the day we say goodbye to Grandma Wilde forever._

_I drag myself up and towards my wardrobe. I take the trousers and shirt and leave the room, heading for the bathroom to wash myself before I get dressed._

******

Once he was dressed, Robin headed for the living room. He saw his Dad’s fennec friend come in as he returned to the kitchen. Robin stood staring at Finnick nervously. Finnick took notice.

“Kid, I ain’t gonna bite ya.” Finnick said, as he sat in one of the sofa seats, “Come take a seat.”

Robin nervously did so.

“You ever hear what your Dad used to say during the old days?” Finnick asked.

“Um… no.” Robin shrugged, “Dad doesn’t talk much about the old days.”

“Figures.” Finnick replied, “Nick’s favourite saying used to be ‘never let them see they get to you’.”

“I… guess that’s true.” Robin thought about it.

“Kid, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with lettin’ people see they get to you every once in a while.” Finnick answered, “Dunno how close you were with your Grandma, what with you being hundreds of miles apart.”

“We spoke on Muzzletime and she’d write letters and send cards.” Robin replied, “But… a few months ago, we stopped Muzzletiming each other and only wrote to each other once in a while.”

“Ain’t gonna be easy to hear this, kid.” Finnick said, “But I had to remind her to send those letters. ‘Swhy in the end I went against your Grandma’s wishes and told Nick she was about to go. I wanted to let you both say goodbye.”

“But she didn’t really know me.” Robin said, tears forming in his eyes, “She’d forgotten me even though I was right here.”

“Kid, I ain’t gonna sugar-coat it for ya.” Finnick said, “She wasn’t herself in the end. But I heard somethin’ once. The mind might forget one day but the heart never forgets. So even if she didn’t recognise you by looking at you, her heart knew who you were.”

Robin let out a choked sob. Finnick uneasily leaned over and embraced him briefly.

“I ain’t too good at this sh… stuff.” Finnick said, “But Nick is like family to me, and that makes you family. Family’s gotta look out for each other. You ever need a shoulder to cry on… well, I’m sure Nick would say my shoulders are low enough. Don’t let him hear that I said that, ‘cos he’ll use it against me and I’ll have to bite his face off.”

Robin let out a choked chuckle as he wiped his eyes, and Finnick smiled briefly.

Nick came into the living room, carrying a tray with two coffees and a glass of orange juice. He passed the coffee to Finnick and the orange juice to Robin.

“Don’t suppose you got anything stronger?” Finnick raised an eyebrow as Nick passed him his coffee.

“First off, you know Mom never drank.” Nick replied, “Second, you’re doing the driving today, so lay off the booze.”

“You run a theme park business. You’re supposed to be fun.” Finnick mock pouted just before taking a sip of the coffee.

“Fun’s being left behind today, Fin.” Nick sighed, before taking a sip of his coffee, “And it’ll be left behind afterward too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Finnick raised an eyebrow.

“Fired off the letter yesterday.” Nick leaned back into his chair, “The last thing I’ll ever sign as Nicholas Hood.”

Finnick’s eyebrows rose with realisation.

“You quit your job?” Finnick said.

“Yup.” Nick replied, “Me and Robin have talked it out, and I’m handing it all over to my Deputy. And when we get back to Mexicat, I’m putting the apartment up for sale.”

******

_Yeah, it’s true. Me and Dad are moving to Zootopia. I know what you’re thinking. You think that I’ll have to leave school behind, and maybe even friends. Well, Mom and Dad home-schooled me. Dad said it was for the best, because that way I avoided the worst of the fox stereotypes. Mom was a little worried because she wanted me to socialise with others my own age, but Dad made sure to take me out often. But even so, I never made many friends to begin with._

_Maybe moving to Zootopia would change that._

_I’m not really paying all that much attention to what Finnick and Dad are talking about, but it’s not long before they stop talking._

_There’s a few moments where nobody says anything. Dad gets up and heads back to his room. Finnick nods at me and I follow behind Dad, heading for my room. My jacket and tie are still hanging up in the wardrobe. I pick up the tie first and step in front of the small mirror so I can see what I’m doing. I’ve done ties before so I can get this one done quickly. Then I put the jacket on. I check myself over in the mirror. I sigh to myself, and a tear trickles down my face. I wipe it away and leave my room, heading back to the living room. I wait for Dad in the living room._

_Nothing is said. Dad comes down and we follow him out to Finnick’s van. My eyes are briefly drawn to the artwork on the side. A wolf warrior carrying an arctic vixen in his arms._

_My attention returns to the van and I clamber in after Dad and strap myself in._

_There’s no talking on our way to the cemetery. When we get there, we all get out. Finnick heads inside first, and I follow Dad. He stops and talks with the Minister. I’m not listening: my attention instead turns to the cemetery. So many buried here. And Grandma Wilde is about to join them._

_The thought is chased from me as Dad and the Minister start walking towards the chapel. I follow them._

_Dad squeezes my shoulder briefly, and I leave him and the Minister to talk while I go inside the chapel and take a seat on the front row. All I can do is glance around at the faces of the other foxes that have come into the chapel and wish that I was somewhere a little less public. I feel myself sink in my seat a little._

_My ears flick when I hear two more pairs of pawsteps. My first thoughts are that it’s Dad and the Minister, but when I glance at them, I once again feel like shying away._

_It’s Miss Rabbit and Nicholas. I’m sure they catch my nervous glances, but they don’t really respond as they sit down in the pew, leaving a bit of a gap between me and them._

_Then the Minister comes back in and asks us to stand._

_I look to the back and I can see Dad and five other foxes bringing in Grandma Wilde’s coffin._

_I can see his anguish, and I feel it too: like somebody has clawed my heart out. Once again tears streak down my face._

_The six coffin-bearers reach the front and put Grandma Wilde on a stand that had been set-up. Dad stands to the side, staring at Grandma Wilde’s coffin, and the Minister speaks.  
_

******

“We are gathered here today to pay our respects to, and to celebrate the life of our departed sister, Viola Emma Wilde.” The Minister said, “She has left this world, moving into the Great Beyond to be with those who have passed before.”

The Minister looked up.

“I will now hand you over to her son, Nicholas Wilde, who has some words to say.” The Minister said. He stepped down from the pulpit. Nick, who had sat in the front row next to Robin, got up and stepped into the pulpit. All eyes were on him as he unfolded a piece of paper and placed it on the pedestal.

“When I was a kit, Mom would always tell me ‘Night falls, but the sun will always rise the next day’.” Nick read, “For me, night fell for a long time, but Mom was always there trying to get me back from the darkness and into the light. She never stopped believing in the good that was out in the world. Never stopped believing in those she loved. That’s the sort of vixen she was.” Nick’s voice wavered. Robin’s vision was clouded by tears but he could see his Dad shedding tears as well as he continued speaking, “She saw the good in everybody. She knew that everybody takes a fall in their lives at some point, but she was always there, offering a paw to help you get back on your feet. Being a single mother to a kit who had lost hope could never have been easy, but she never gave up hope on me. That was her greatest gift to the world: the gift of hope.”

Nick swallowed and glanced at his mother’s coffin.

“She was the best mother a broken tod could ask for.” Nick said finally, before stepping down from the pulpit and returning to his seat next to Robin, the fur of his face marked by tear tracks. The Minister stepped back in.

******

_My heart feels like it’s been ripped out watching Dad give that speech. I had seen him trying to write it several times during the week but to see him stand up there and say it makes my heart ache even worse._

_My paw instinctively takes hold of Dad’s arm. He glances at me and I lean into him, desperate to offer some sort of comfort to him. I don’t even pay attention to the Minister, and in that moment, it’s just me and Dad._

_The moment passes as the Minister asks us to stand. Dad gets up and heads back to the coffin to pick it up with the other bearers. The Minister leads them out and we all follow to the plot dug out in the cemetery._

_The Minister starts talking again, and I stand at the side of the grave watching as the bearers lower Grandma Wilde in. The mammals waiting to the sides start shovelling dirt in after Dad throws a lily in._

_The patter of pawsteps reaches my ears and I look to see Nicholas headed for Dad._

_Oh, no. Please don’t start something, Nicholas. I know you don’t like Dad, but…_

_But… Nicholas hugs him._

_It takes a moment but Dad hugs him back too. Then they let go of each other and Nicholas comes to me._

_He throws his arms around me. I feel myself go slightly rigid but before long I relax a bit and return the gesture. I don’t hate Nicholas, and I don’t think he hates me either._

_For the first time, I think I can look at him as my brother._

_When Nicholas lets me go, we both turn to see Dad and Miss Rabbit hugging as well._

_The sight is enough to make tears come back to my eyes. Not for the first time, I wish Mom were here, and not because I want to see Miss Rabbit hurt, but I think she would have understood that Dad and Miss Rabbit needed this moment._

_Dad and Miss Rabbit let go of each other and turn away, but Dad stops in front of the grave next to Grandma Wilde’s. I can see the words on the tombstone: Johnathan Reginald Wilde. I’ve heard very little but given where this is, I think that this is the grave of Dad’s Dad._

_Dad says something to the grave: “You’d better take care of Mom, you hear?”_

_Then he turns away. Me and Nicholas, side-by-side, walk behind Dad and Miss Rabbit, but my eyes are drawn to their paws, which are reaching out but never quite touching, before they fall back into place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we draw the Funeral section to a close. I needed a little less time than I thought to compose myself to push through with this final chapter. There’s a few loose ends to tie up for the finale. This has actually been a lot easier to write than the previous chapter, not least because it’s easier for me to put myself in Robin’s shoes. Officially this is the first look you will have gotten into Robin, but to those who read the ‘cut’ version of Chapter 8 (the other Robin-centric one), do you think I should re-insert it in its proper place? Let me know in your reviews and I’ll act on the response.
> 
> In answer to the research I’ve done after the previous chapter… it’s conflicting. Some police academies won’t allow anyone over the age of 39 but others don’t seem to have an upper limit, while all police forces seem to say 3 years and you lose your certification. Nick is, in my mind, spry enough despite his being 50 to be able to do the Academy again. So, Nick returning to the ZPD is no longer out of the question like I stated at the end of the last chapter. Whether I go that route… well, I wouldn’t want to spoil anything now, would I? I had a plan that didn’t involve the ZPD with regards to Nick prior to discovering this, so I’m on the fence as to which I’ll go with.
> 
> Review responses follow as usual:
> 
> GhostWolf88 (FF): Thank you for your review. I wasn’t sure it would come across as I intended, so I’m glad that it’s had the effect that I wanted it to have. It tore my heart apart to write the last two chapters, which is why it took me a little while longer to write them than the others. I’m actually committed now to looking into a follow-up to this story but I would need to examine what sort of story I want to tell with it, and that all depends on what’s in the next chapter.
> 
> Gunslinger99 (AO3): Thank you.
> 
> WolfDragon (FF): It is hard to lose somebody. What comes next after loss is the acceptance that they’re gone and that you’ll never truly get over it, but you do learn to live with the grief that the loss has caused.
> 
> Jack Kellar (AO3): I’ve pretty much got the worst of the low feelings out of the way with the publication of this chapter. Though like Judy’s ringtone says, ‘Hope Is Eternal’. They won’t be stuck in depressive feelings forever and things can get better for everybody.
> 
> G4COD (AO3): Good spot, I forgot when I wrote the eulogy that I inserted that line. I should have copied the raw eulogy rather than the one from Judy’s chapter. It’s fixed now.
> 
> OnceNeverTwiceAlways (AO3): Thanks. Given its beginnings I wasn’t sure telling a story like this would work because of the controversy surrounding the story I initially got inspired to write this by, but that’s why in my story the grief and mending are the focus. Nick and Judy can’t go back and undo what is done but they can repair it. I’ll leave it to a future story to fill in exactly what that means.
> 
> Siaan5 (FF): Thank you. I knew going into this that people were less likely to side with Judy from the off, and I had to try and find the right balance for her: she clearly and profoundly regrets her mistakes in the past and is willing to try and mend them.
> 
> So… the next chapter will deal with the epilogue to this story but not the end of it. In the words of the Billy Boyd song that influenced the way I wrote these chapters: the road is calling and I must away. So until next time!


	14. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at last. The grand finale, the start of the true reconciliation. This was actually the easiest chapter to write out of the lot, not least because I had a lot of Judy’s monologue done from the start, which is probably why it’s out a lot sooner than I said it would be. It starts the upward return after the emotional pummelling that was the previous four chapters.

** Hope **

(From the point of view of Judy)

_Years ago, I once gave a speech. It went something like this:_

_‘When I was a kid, I thought Zootopia was this perfect place, where everyone got along and anyone could be anything. Turns out, real life is a little bit more complicated than a slogan on a bumper sticker. Real life is messy. We all have limitations, we all make mistakes.’_

_Those became words that perfectly described my life._

_I had forgotten what it was like to be myself for the longest time. I was stumbling in the dark. Choosing to change in all of the wrong ways while thinking that what I was doing was surviving._

_In my efforts for survival, I forgot how to live. It took Viola Wilde’s passing, and Nick’s return, for me to realise that. Tragic and heart-breaking though the event was, if it wasn’t for her, me and Nick wouldn’t be mending our relationship. I know she wanted that for us._

_I’ve been adjusting to my ‘new’ role of Lieutenant for about five months now. Taking on this role was one of the best things I have done for fifteen years. It means I’m not away from home as much as I had been. And it also means that I can be a better Mom to my son. Chief Fangmeyer gives me three days off in the week, and I spend as much time as I can with Nicholas._

_Nicholas has started to change too. It took a bit of getting used to, but he’s finally started to open up to me more now that he has my attention a lot more. Sure, there’s still the issue of him being a hybrid playing in the back of his mind, but I’m doing my best by him, which is something I should have been doing from the start. I used to say that I was trying, but now I know that wasn’t true, and I am sorry to him for that, but the best way I can apologise is to prove that I can give him my all now. He’s not completely open with me yet, but I think he’ll get there one day._

******

_Precinct One_

“Hey, Lieutenant Hopps!” Clawhauser waved from the reception desk.

“Hi, Ben.” Judy smiled as she approached the desk.

“How’s everything been?” Clawhauser asked.

“It’s been…” Judy began, “It’s been okay. I think things are starting to get better now.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Clawhauser grinned as he cupped his head in his paws, “How’s Nick Junior doing? Haven’t seen any of the others dragging him in these past few months.”

“He’s doing fine.” Judy said, “Everything that’s happened has been a lot for him to take in, so we’re taking everything one day at a time. I managed to get him to start going back to school.”

“That’s good to hear.” Clawhauser said, “And Senior?”

Judy chuckled lightly.

“He’s okay.” Judy replied, “But don’t let him hear you call him that.”

“Oh, he doesn’t get to have a nickname for everybody else and not have one for himself after fifteen years.” Clawhauser grinned mischievously.

Judy chuckled to herself.

******

_As for Nick, he did what several people thought was unexpected: he sold up his shares in his company in Mexicat City, gave his position of CEO to his Deputy and moved back to Zootopia with Robin. He lives in his Mom’s apartment, saying that though he could not see it as ‘his’, and though he could easily afford a new place of his own, he did not like the thought of anybody else living where his mother had raised him. Robin didn’t seem to mind the upheaval at all. Nick enrolled Robin at a local elementary school. He’s already made a few friends._

_Nick made a lot of money from the sale of his shares but he donated a large portion of it to the cancer units at the hospitals across Zootopia. He told me that it felt like the right thing to do if it spared another from going through what Viola went through. As for what was left… he says it amounts to, and I quote, ‘two hundred bucks a day, Fluff, three hundred and sixty-five days since I was twelve.’ I found that little reminder of one of our first encounters funny, and he says he said it because while there was truth in that, he just wanted to see me smile again. He put a large amount of money into two trust funds for Robin and Nicholas._

_As for what Nick did next…_

_At first, part of me had hoped we could work together again on the ZPD, because I think the more time we spend together, the easier it will be to mend those bridges, but Nick was away from the ZPD for too long and we weren’t sure if his age would be a barrier. As it turns out, the ZPD doesn’t have an upper age limit on applicants so long as they can pass a physical examination. Apparently, it was a clause slipped into the Mammal Inclusion Initiative brought in by Lionheart years ago. Bogo put in a word, and Nick said that he wanted to try again if it meant he could go back and make the world a better place. So, he’s in the Academy to redo his six months to get back onto the ZPD. I have no idea if he’s going to be able to get into Precinct One but I suspect Commissioner Bogo will probably still want him there, because whether Bogo found him infuriating or not, even Bogo had to admit Nick made one hell of a cop._

_As a single father, Nick is allowed off the Academy grounds every night so he can return home to take care of Robin. On the days I have off, I look after him, and on the days I am working, Finnick takes that duty._

_Nicholas and Robin get along fine, though they don’t speak all that much to each other. At least, they’re not fighting like I used to with some of my siblings._

******

A knock came at the door of Judy’s apartment. Judy rushed to open it to find Nick, in his ZPA uniform.

“You know, I reckon this makes me look my age now.” Nick remarked as he stepped inside.

“Oh, you look fine.” Judy laughed lightly, moving aside to let Nick in. Sitting on the sofa was Robin, scribbling away at something.

“Hey, sport.” Nick said, leaning over the couch, “What have you got there?”

“Homework.” Robin said, not looking up, “I got it, Dad.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Nick stood back up. He spotted Nicholas sat in the corner, earphones in, himself busy with something.

“What are you up to?” Nick asked.

“Re-entry essay.” Nicholas replied. Nick frowned and shot a glance at Judy.

“Something his teachers demanded. Don’t ask.” Judy shook her head.

Nick looked over Nicholas’ shoulder.

“You know, you make some good points, but how about…” Nick leaned forward. Nicholas stiffened slightly as Nick explained but made no move to make him go away.

“And that’s how it can be seen.” Nick said finally. Nicholas frowned as he looked down at the essay.

“I get it.” Nicholas said. Nick stepped back. There was a brief moment of silence before Nicholas spoke.

“So, um… thanks.” Nicholas said awkwardly.

“No problem, kid.” Nick replied, a small smile gracing his face. He turned to Robin and said, “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go home.”

“Dad, you call a six-year-old ‘kiddo’.” Robin grimaced, “I’m eleven.” Nevertheless, he packed up his homework and followed Nick from the apartment, Judy waving goodbye as they left. Judy went over to Nicholas and embraced him in a hug.

“Proud of you, Son.” Judy said.

“He wanted the chance to prove himself.” Nicholas shrugged, “Grandma Wilde always said I should give him that chance.”

“She would be proud of you.” Judy said, “You know that, right?”

Nicholas didn’t answer straight away, the trauma of losing her still not completely healed.

“Yeah. I know.” He replied finally.

******

_As for Nicholas… like I said, he’s opened up a bit more. He’s willing to give Nick a chance now, which is a remarkable change from five months ago, when he didn’t even speak to him and simply thought of him as a deadbeat. Nick is trying his best to do right by Nicholas, though the friction hasn’t disappeared entirely. They just need time._

******

Judy drove the car up to the gates of St. Barks High School, with Nicholas in the passenger’s seat.

“You ready?” Judy looked at Nicholas.

“Yeah.” Nicholas breathed, “Gotta face up to it sometime. Might as well be now.”

Judy looked at him with a fond look in her eyes.

“Hey, Mom…” Nicholas said.

“Yes?” Judy said.

“You know I love you, right?” Nicholas said. The remark drew a small chuckle as a memory came to the surface from many years before.

“Do I know that?” Judy said, “Yes. Yes, I do, Son.”

Nicholas returned a small smile as he opened the door, grabbing his bag and leaving the car. Judy watched Nicholas pass the gates and offered a wave. Nicholas nodded in return.

As he entered the school grounds, a wolf girl took notice of Nicholas and stared at him. Judy frowned at the sight… until she realised one thing: the wolf girl’s tail was swaying, which Judy recognised as a sign of happiness. The girl headed towards Nicholas and tapped him on the shoulder and Nicholas turned, a slight frown on his face when he saw her. The frown disappeared quickly as the girl said something, and instead Nicholas looked curious.

Judy leaned forward. She recognised that wolf girl from _somewhere_ , she just couldn’t put a finger on it… she shrugged to herself and turned on the car’s ignition.

******

_For the first time, Nicholas might make friends at school, and find that he’s not so alone after all. And things are starting to get better between me and Nick. We might not be able to change what’s past, but we can move forward._

_So, I guess you could say it’s going smoother than I had any right to hope._

_The radio starts playing in the car. The song that is playing has become the theme song to my life._

******

_There are days_

_When we fall_

_Stumbling through the darkness_

_Can you hear my call?_

_I learned to love, but it didn’t last_

_I’m filled with regrets about what’s past_

_But at the end of the tunnel, I see a light_

_I have to get back up and put things right._

_You see, hope is eternal!_

_It’s not over, I can’t give up,_

_I know hope is eternal!_

_I’ll dust myself off and get back up._

_Life goes on_

_It passes me by_

_Through friendships lost_

_My heart will cry_

_I lost my love, I forgot to live_

_To change the past, oh what I would give!_

_The past won’t change, but the future can_

_I hope this time it all goes to plan._

_You see, hope is eternal!_

_It’s not over, I can’t give up,_

_I know hope is eternal!_

_I’ll dust myself off and get back up._

_My heart yearns for more_

_I’m sorry I hurt you_

_But this isn’t the end,_

_There’s no way we’re through!_

_You see, hope is eternal!_

_It’s not over, I can’t give up,_

_I know hope is eternal!_

_I’ll dust myself off and get back up._

_Hear me! Hope is eternal!_

_To my heart I’m finally listening._

_Did you know? Hope is eternal!_

_I look to you, my eyes glistening._

_It’s true! Hope is eternal!_

_You’ve waited too long for my apology._

_Hey, wait! Hope is eternal!_

_Hope is woven into my biology._

_We can live in hope._

_Hope is eternal._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what if I’m an amateur at writing lyrics and they came out really corny? Sue me! Actually, I like them in spite of their corniness. They definitely could be refined but I’m not a songwriter. I do have a melody in mind for the chorus parts though. Maybe I’ll try and get a full-length piano and instrumental track mocked up someday. Or if anybody who’s musically-minded wants to adapt this, then by all means.
> 
> So, this is it. This is the end of Survival. It’s not the end of the story, though: I have more I want to tell in this world. I’m brainstorming ideas for the sequel already and where I want to take these characters.
> 
> If you’re the least bit curious, Nick leaving himself $200-bucks-a-day-since-he-was-twelve’s-worth comes to $2,701,000. He would have put $750k into trust funds for both Nicholas and Robin. And yes, this time this is all after tax.
> 
> I’ll take this one last time to do responses to reviews that came in from the last couple of chapters:
> 
> GhostWolf88 (FF): I’m happy to have gotten the emotionally-depressing part out of the way. It was hard to write and hard to read, especially as you’re essentially seeing the same events from four different perspectives. I’m hoping this epilogue goes some way to giving you what it was you asked for, and there will be more from this timeline in the future that won’t be quite so saddening.
> 
> TheUnaccomplishedWriter (FF): This epilogue is the start of the journey of mending and reconciliation. I hope you stick around for the future as while this story is completed the overall tale is not.
> 
> Jack Kellar (AO3): The depressing part of the story is finally out of the way. I will be posting the sequels onto AO3. Didn’t know about the ‘series’ feature, though, so I’ll definitely be using that so I can group these stories together.
> 
> Stubat (FF): Thank you. I always wanted to approach Robin as a smart kid. I don’t think he thinks that Nick and Judy might end up back together, but that they’ll remain friends, but given enough time, if they do wind up back together in some form, I think Robin might eventually accept that.
> 
> All that remains to be said is this: thank you all for the follows, the favourites and the reviews. Despite the somewhat emotional nature that this story had, and the effect it had on me to write some parts, I can say that I have truly enjoyed bringing a different perspective of the Nick and Judy relationship. I may come back to tidy small bits up (and maybe to bring the original Chapter 8 Robin POV back).
> 
> Until the next time!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I’ve ever seen to completion. Through revisions and changes, I’ve gotten this to the point I want it to be. I would like to thank those who reviewed both versions, not least because, for the most part, you guys helped me get this to the point I wanted to get it to.
> 
> The goal of this story, as I hope becomes clear as I go on, is to see if a broken relationship between Nick and Judy can be repaired.
> 
> Props go to borba over on DeviantArt for his brilliantly drawn but depressing and controversial comic, I Will Survive, which serves as the original inspiration for this story. I personally don’t agree with the work in question, but I decided the idea was worth re-framing and moving onward.
> 
> I must make this absolutely clear before we begin: though the initial inspiration comes from IWS, this is not a sequel to it. It takes place in its own continuity. The story has also seen some minor revisions since the start of its sequel, Waking Death, mainly to tighten the connection and consistency between the two.
> 
> 21/07/2017 Note: I have made some minor revisions to this story, namely the removal of quotes and the tightening of some passages so this story works better with Waking Death. I also fixes a continuity issue that identified 1955 Cypress Grove as a house, where it should have been an apartment. I have also removed the quotes from the start of each chapter. Not because of any potential violation of rules, but they were simply no longer needed. I think at this point, the story speaks for itself and does not need propping up in that manner.
> 
> Disclaimer: Disney owns Zootopia. I wish I did.
> 
> This is a story that is inspired by borba’s, as mentioned in the intro, but there are a few fundamental differences. Do I think Judy would really behave in either way as shown here and in borba’s comic? No. The subject of kits would have been broached by one of them much sooner. I wanted to make Nick’s side of the story more sympathetic than it is in borba’s comic, but there’s two sides to every story. Just wait until I introduce Judy.


End file.
